The school also have responsibility to guide children about socializing.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Childhood is a condition when person experience changing of life stage. Many people think a parent has to learn children to be able to a party of society. However, the parent is most important sector to improve their social-relationship skill, but i believe that school also have responsibility to learn children about socializing.

Many people argue that children need education in social life from their parent. Parent is the closest person to children. So, parent has a big responsibility to grow their child as a human social who can contribute in society. Because parent know well about their child personality and having an emotional relationship, so it will easier to approach children and it will give an effective way to learn them to be a person who more sensitive in knowing their social lives. However, parent is vital to improving social ability's children, but there are other sectors that have responsibility to teach schoolchildren such as school.

School is place where children spend a lot of time. They study with their teacher. Some people say a teacher has responsibility to teach schoolchildren about ho to socialize with the others. Even, parent is necessary in this matter but school has an important role to increase their life capacity, because a teacher usually to be a role mode. The children may think that the resource of knowledge comes from their teacher. For example, when they are in the school, when they will ask to their teacher about everything. Then they had bad experience because of their classmate. The first person who they asked for help is a teacher. So, school is suitable place for the children to learn about socialize in a society.

To sum up, there are sectors who have responsibility to improve the children's sense of community, such as parent. Although, parent is important person but school also necessary to grow up children's ability in socializing.

Hello Good Morning Miss Bada :)

Let me give you some suggestions :)
Actually, I enjoy and easily understand your main idea in your introduction, but I think there are some parts you try to give more explanation but usually you just repeat again your main idea, So I feel those can spends your time in writing. Well, let's discuss about it :)

--"Childhood is a condition when person experience changing of life stage"=> It's better if your adds more this sentences to make it more clearly, due to I think this not yet to cover your general introduction, because "Childhood" is not the one stage which changes in person live.

-- ... a parent has to learnteach children to be able to a partyparticipationof society

-- So,parent has a big (...) child as a human socialsocial humanity who can contributeS in society.
... an emotional relationship, so it will + beeasier to approach (...) effective way to learn ]teach[/i][/b] themhowto be a person who ...
However, parent is vital to improving social ability's childrenthe child's social ability, but there are other (...) to teach schoolchildrenthe child such as school. => (I think the main causes of your problem is related to your conjunction, because sometimes you like wanna give more statements on other statements but not against exactly and cause you can seems more stressing your last idea)

Okay miss Bada, I think you have a nice effort to make it better next time :) Good luck dear :*

Hello Bada!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

Many people think that parents have responsibility to teach their children become a party of society
In the task, parents -> mother and father

However, the parents is the most important sector to improve children social-relationship skill, but I believe that school also have responsibility to teach children about get networking.

To sum up, there are sectors who have responsibility to improve children's ability to get networking with community, such as parents.

I hope it can help you :)