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Some schools, plummeted in quantities of pupils


Fiza26 3 / 4  
Dec 1, 2016   #1
Writing Task 1

The table depicts the percentage of students attending four various of secondary school from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it can be seen that the specialist, grammar and voluntary-controlled schools plummeted in quantities of pupils, while the community schools became the biggest percentage of secondary school attendance during the same period.

Between 2000 and 2009, the proportion of pupils in voluntary-controlled schools experienced drop from over half to one in five. Similarly, the number of children in grammar schools only bellow one quarter declined by half at the same period. Whereas for the specialist schools, the rate of students attending was relatively small this type of school at 12% also decreased but not significantly at 10%.

In contrast, while the other three various of school dropped in the survey, the opposite was true in the case of community schools. In fact, only a few number of pupils at 12% were educated by 2000. Moreover, the figure significantly rose over half of all students by 2009.




Pramudia27 34 / 55 2  
Dec 1, 2016   #2
hello fiza..

... voluntary-controlled schools experienceddropdropped(double verb ==> drop and experienced )from over half to one in fivein.. (do not to go detail in writing task 1) .

... of school at 12% also decreasedslightly decreasing inbut not significantly at 10%.
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Dec 2, 2016   #3
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) ... students attending in four various of ...
(2) Overall, it can be seen that the specialist, grammar and voluntary-controlled schools(avoid mentioning three categories in one time) plummeted in ...
Overall, apart from the community schools, other categories experienced a marked decline in quantities of pupils during the same period

(3) ... schools experienced a drop from over half ...
(4) ... was relatively small in this type of school at 12%,alsoalthough it decreased but not significantlyslightly at 10%.
SarlindaDS_27 42 / 52 5  
Dec 2, 2016   #4
Hello, @Fiza26, Let me give you some corrections :)

... the specialist, grammar[need comma] and voluntary-controlled ...

... schools only bellow one quarter =>one-quarter declined by half at =>[over, during, in] the same period.

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)


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