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schools replacing sports and exercise classes with more academic



Arun0506 27 / 119  
Jan 31, 2013   #1
Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What is your opinion on this change? How this change will affect children's life in your view?

Galloping advancement in science and technologies, it has proliferated huge volume of academic syllabus for school students in their curriculum. As a result of this substantial changes over the period, today many schools tend to focus increasingly on academic curriculum and reluctant in providing physical education for children. In my opinion, this trend is not going to aid students to have a proper mental and physical health.

Certainly, in this competitive world, students are working hard enough in schools to get admission in reputed universities plus their desired courses. Children are more often seems to be a book worm rather than participating in sports activities. They don't even have breath time to think about anything other than studies. The entire above said situation is due to hefty academic syllabus in schools, absence of physical education and prevailing competition among schools to secure top ranking in public exams.

On analyzing the possible results due to this present condition, following are the probable deterioration which has to avert. Children may get spoil both mentally and physically by avoiding sports activities. Beyond certain point, children are not able to cope up with the increasing pressure on studies. Until there is some mental relaxation by diverting them into sports, there are more chances for seeing poor performance in exams as well. Finally, the sheer objective of shape up our children's future become a paramount.

In order to avoid the above detrimental effects from happening, children should be engaged in physical activities, especially in sports. In-spite of studies, the absence of consistent participation in sports events during schools, it is highly impossible for children to have a good stamina and flexible body in later ages. Furthermore, adoption of sedentary life habit become common among teenagers which results in health issues such as premature ageing, obesity etc... Countries like Australia, the United States and the United Kingdom pay more attention in sports for their school children who led them to have appropriate physic and also excel in sports events all over the world.

To sum up, I would say, besides scoring excellent marks in academic side, children should have given chance to involve in more physical activities especially in sports and government should take measures to combat the present situation in our education system by revising the academic syllabus and make the physical education a mandatory one in schools.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 31, 2013   #2
Galloping advancement in science and technologies, it has proliferated huge volume of academic syllabus for school students in their curriculum.

As a result of this substantial changes over the period, today many schools tend to focus increasingly on academic curriculum and reluctant in providing physical education for children.

....impressive sentence :)

students are working hard enough in schools to get admission into reputed universities plusin addition to pursue their desired courses.

Children are more often seems to be a book worm rather than participating in sports activities

.... this has a few grammar issues;
Children is a plural word, so it should be "seem" and not "seems" & "book worms" and not " a book worm"

Your first body para does not contain any specific exmaple which is a must for this task.

children should have been given

You have good writing skills, but you need to pay more attention to grammar
OP Arun0506 27 / 119  
Jan 31, 2013   #3
Hi Dumi,
Thanks for your suggestion. Could you please tell me once again about the different IELTS questions and their appropriate structure to follow.
Thank you

Regards,
Arun
devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 31, 2013   #4
academic side , --> stop with academic --> side is not professional
OP Arun0506 27 / 119  
Jan 31, 2013   #5
Thanks Dumi and Dev ...


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