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Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change



maitouyen 2 / 4  
Jan 26, 2017   #1
I am a beginer of writing essays. So could you give me exactly what i lack of and what i need to do.

Understanding the Earth



Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individual to change their life style to prevent further damage

Solution of climate change has become a source of controversy all over the world. This raises a certain issue as to whether this problem depends on individual's life style and governments have no responsibility at all. On the balance, it is my position that governments and individuals are simultaneously liable for one

First of it , the results of industry , which have produced carbon dioxide to cause greenhouse only can be solved and controlled by governments . They know how to diminish pollution such as limiting gas and fuel consumption, investing money to grow plants, trees. Moreover, governments also should enforce policies and punish the manufactories which intend to do illegally . For example , Paris agreement signed by UNFCCC members is dealing with greenhouse gas emission .

Nevertheless , Not only do governments have responsibility for this problem, but also individuals must be the part of this one , if ones want to live in the clear and less polluted Earth . Instead of caring about inappropriate stuffs , ones should research how to improve our environment regarding realistic actions by themselves such as do not throw the trash away after using those , which can be recycled because the more less unconscious we are , the more polluted the earth becomes. As individuals, with environmental knowledge , ones ought to encourage the others to that individuals should use less electricity , use public transportation or by walking cycling ,...

To conclude ,I think if both governments and individuals understand how The Earth needs them , the environment will be saved .

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jan 26, 2017   #2
Mai, since you are a newcomer to the forum, I guess you do not know that we require you to post the prompt that you are responding to before you post the essay that you wrote in response to it. That will help us to assess the problems of your essay stemming from prompt compliance to scoring the bandwidth criteria. So kindly post the prompt requirement below my response to you for a more detailed assessment of your work.

As of now, I can tell you that the major mistake you made in this essay is that you placed your opinion as a separate paragraph before you presented the proper overview statement in the introductory paragraph that should have included a short note as to what your personal opinion will be as presented in the essay. That is the main problem that I found with your work.

The rest of the essay is acceptable enough at the moment. That opinion will change as you post the prompt you are responding to. By the way, normally, your personal opinion is presented in the fourth paragraph as that is meant to serve as the transition statement going into your conclusion. Just a note for you to remember when you write your next practice test.

I will reserve the additional review of your essay work for when you have already posted your prompt requirement. By the way, please identify if it is a practice test for TOEFL or IELTS. That way we can use the correct scoring system for your work. That is if you want to have your work scored. You should tell us if you want it scored as well.


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