IELTS task 2 : essay about self-study and study in group

best learning method for students

TOPIC: Some teachers say students should be organized into groups to study, while others argue that students should be made to study alone.
Tell the benefits of each study method. Which do you think is more effective?

People always have different views about what is the best learning method for students. Although there are those who may argue that students should study by themselves, I hold the belief that putting students into groups is the superior learning way.

From my perspective, the first and foremost reason why people think studying alone is the best way is that students can be more independent than others. Self-study students normally have abilities to deal with all difficulties themselves instead of asking for help from teachers or peers. In other words, students would be capable of addressing academic problems independently which is considered as a benefit in today's society.

However, from my point of view, I believe students should be organized into groups in order to study effectively and efficiently. Admittedly, schools or universities are like a small society, each person in this society could learn various essential skills such as how to be an excellent leader or they can sharpen their communication skills. In my personal experience, when students are put into small groups, we have to learn how to express our ideas in a well-mannered way and accept others' opinions politely at the same time. As a result, students would grow mentally and physically and become more mature during the discussion. Besides, collaboration is another principal factor why students should study with others with diverse backgrounds and personalities, we may learn how to be a good team player and realize the importance of cooperation. If students lack these experiences, it would be difficult for them to be a well-rounded person.

In conclusion, it is obvious that studying in groups is much more beneficial to students than studying alone; therefore, I am convinced that studying with others is a more effective option.

Hi @oneouran, there are groups of words are redundant to me, for example: "From my perspective, the first and foremost the firstreason why...", "However, from my point of view, I believe... "and btw can i ask that what is the difference between "effectively" and "efficiently"? If they are the same, u should take 1 off.

Basically, u should make your essay clearer, the more it clear, the higher point u get, u should focus more on the content, and evade abundant words as i stated.

Hope u do well in the future!

Hi @oneouran
I`ll try my best to help you.
I find your essay quite well-organised.
But you should be careful about how you express your personal opinions. As you`re asked to write subjectively, these kinds of sentences may sound ambitious : "In conclusion..." Instead of "it is obvious" you can use "I believe, I think" etc.

Best of luck to you!

@oneouran
Hi there!

Firstly, restructure your sentences in a way that you would be able to articulate in a more compact manner. If you can do this, you'll be able to focus more on the direction that your essay is going. Having said that, what this means is primarily omitting unnecessary and irrelevant words when you are writing. Focus only on words that would let you translate your thoughts in a more efficient manner. If you can do this, you'll have more focus in your writing. Remember that writing isn't just about filling in the required number of words. Depth is critical in determining how put-together your essay would be.

As was already mentioned here, it is also essential that you are able to retain an informative tone throughout your writing. What this pertains to would be to evade using words such "I believe" as they do not really mean much for your writing.

Additionally, incorporating firmer examples that are of real-world content would also be beneficial for you as it would help you have a more intuitive writing that's believable and not merely uttering random nuances.

Best of luck as always!