Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Semester Paper Intro (what we did throughout the course of year)



qomoco 24 / 104  
Apr 26, 2010   #1
Feedback please.

Throughout the course of year, we have read many different literature, most of them are just sad. Perhaps it is through sadness that we can really understand and start to appreciate the true meaning of life. We might never appreciate something we had in the first place until we lose it since we would think it is rightfully ours. These things can be from our everyday normal object such as phone, computer, and even pencils to abstract things such as our relationships. Hey, who would care about a "stupid" pencil. But what do you when you no longer have it? The same concept goes to our everyday relationship with people that are around us. Though with relationships, the concept is more abstract, and hard to get just as literature is. Nevertheless, one would not argue with that companionship dominates literature in every way, since no story revolves around one individual. No themes can have nothing to do with companionship. Take Frankenstein for example, what is it in the entire world that the monster desires the most? A companion. All he wishes for is someone he can talk to, does not matter if she is being created or not. It takes two person to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

These recurring themes are dominant in Oliver Kitteridge as well, though maybe in somewhat different forms. Olive Kitteridge explores the dark realities we are afraid to face, secrets we are afraid to share, and fundamentally the unknown - the inside of a house (family matters), the human conditions and interactions, the progression of life over time, and the suddenness of life. Though, these might appears to be a lot to deal with; they are actually interrelated. Life can be sweet, but there are moments which are just sad, but that doesn't necessary mean we want to share those moments, thus it creates secrets, which in turn creates loneliness. And yet perhaps sometimes it is loneliness that creates secrets. We, people, are social beings. We need interactions with other people to survive. Pretty much, Olive Kitteridge centers around the theme that we, humans, are "companion beings," who can't survive alone and yet at the same time we won't admit it. Whether it is because of pride or self-pity, we don't know, but we know one thing for sure, that it is a universal truth yet at the same time a universal secret - we can't survive alone, and one doesn't make a pack. "Loneliness can kill people - in different ways can actually make you die". (Strout 68).

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 28, 2010   #2
Don't say "many literature." You don't say many water, because water is a substance. Literature is like that. You say, I drank too much water. I read too much literature.

We have read much literature, and ...
or "pieces of literature"
Throughout the course of year, w We have read many different pieces of literature, most of them are just sad.

We have read many different pieces of literature, most of them are just sad. --- this sentence is incorrect. It needs "and"

We have read many different pieces of literature, and most of them are just sad.

Perhaps it is through sadness that we can really understand and start to appreciate the true meaning of life. --- excellent sentence... excellent thought, too. Read Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning

Trungpa talks about the "genuine heart of sadness"

...since almost every story involves more than one individual. No Every theme must have something to do with companionship. --- add one more sentence to establish a theme of learning to appreciate companionship by reading about people losing it. Then, end paragraph 1.

Then start paragraph 2:
Take Frankenstein for example; what is it in the...


Home / Writing Feedback / Semester Paper Intro (what we did throughout the course of year)
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳