Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Several changes in an industrial complex, an artificial lake, and public places in Lakeside



septiadara29 48 / 45  
Dec 1, 2016   #1
The changes in Lakeside in 2000 and 2009.

A comparison of the changes in Lakeside between 2000 and 2009 is depicted in the two maps. Overall, there are several changes in an industrial complex, an artificial lake, and public places.

First of all, there was a significant alter in the south east of Lakeside where the industrial complex had been expanded in 2009, and replacing an residential area that existed in 2000. This industrial complex was located alongside the river that flow into the lake before it already swifted into a pond that based in the north east of Lakeside.

The other change was a derelic warehouse which was right to a residential area had altered into a parking area for cars. Across the car park, there were an office buliding and a university that replaced an old town. Then, move to the eat, where an art centre was built next to school had swifted into a movie theatre. Meanwhile, a residential area in the south west of Lakeside was also changed into a shopping centre. (168)


  • 15320419_10202230350.png


SYDA 11 / 21  
Dec 1, 2016   #2
Hi,

I read your writing, here is some correction to improve your writing.

~~~~ you have to write at least three sentence because it effect your score.

~~~~First of all , there was a significant ...
First of all, is not appropriate in this case, you can use " initially"

keep writing :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Several changes in an industrial complex, an artificial lake, and public places in Lakeside
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳