My essay is still not persuasive I think,it's the first time I deal with argumentative essay. Hope to see your feedback soon! Thanks in advance!
It is widely seen that employees is the indispensible part in a company. Therefore, it is reasonable the employees rationally deserve to enjoy or share profits in their company. And, actually, those gains should be distributed to the workers; after all, their work is to make profits.
First, sharing gains fairly to all employees creates active working environment. Indeed, company includes a group of people working and coordinating together to create products. Thus, obviously, one individual can not finish any work, especially even having a great manager but nothing can be done after all. Therefore, profits should be shared to motivate workers, and indirectly force them to work harder and harder.
Second, staffs are expected to have a company's profit as a fairess. Say, using awards or money, or promotion to motivate is a simple way, today people hope to receice profits as they want to be admited that the company's success are partly achieved by their dedication. Therefore, there is no reason if senior managers always receive high pay packages or profits, and surely workplace is full of anger and dissatisfaction from other workers toward their boss.
It seems to be sensible that senior managers are those who set objectives and take charge of targets, so paying them higher profits is quite appropriate. I admit that without a great leader the company can hardly achieve a large gain. However, behind the leader there is a group of subordinates, who always devote all effort to the success of the company. Accordingly, profits are made by all employees in the firm, so sharing benefits fairly is ultimately necessary.
In sum, employees are important in a firm. For me, they not only have the right to share profits but also have the right to be provided with more care and welfare from their company.
Dear Thai thi
I think in the first paragraph, you have repeated some sentences, so I changed:
Employees are the most important asset of companies who work hard to make profit, so they deserve to enjoy the company's profit.
Hi,
First, sharing gains fairly towit h all employees creates active working environment. Indeed, company includes a group of people working and coordinating together to create products. Thus, obviously, one individual can not finish any work, especially even having a great manager but nothing can be done after all. Therefore, profits should be shared to motivate workers, and indirectly force them to work harder and harder.
Your idea is not very clear in the first para. I guess this is what you want to say;
A company consists of people with different authority levels. However, it is the collaberative effort of all these people that helps make profits for the company. Therefore, it is not justifiable if the profits are not shared in an equitable manner. Such a decision may de-motivate employees and would have adverse effects on the company performance in the long run.
It is widely understood that employees represent an indispensable part of a company.
Therefore, it is reasonable to assert that employees rationally deserve to enjoy or share profits in their company.
First, sharing gains fairly with all employees creates an active working environment.
Second, staffs are expected to have a company's profit as a fairess. --- what is fairess? I think you need a different word here.
Say, using awards, money, or promotion to motivate is a simple way; today people hope to receive profits as they want to be acknowledged, in the sense that the company's success are partly achieved by their dedication.
From my point of view, they not only have the right to share profits but also have the right to be provided with more care and welfare from their company.
Practice the correct ways to write these sentences. Practice typing each of them a few times to catch the trick of English grammar.
:-)
