IELTS Essay: Sharing the Information (the most significant for human) - Writing Task 2

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Data Access Control

There is only few thing more important than information in today's world. Even a little detail about the cure of certain illnesses may change the history, therefore there are huge disputes when it comes to sharing information in not only scientific researches but also business and academic life. In fact that sharing as much information as possible is better for society is mainly true since it may lead improvements by other people and also help to ignore unnecessary researches, there might be some valid reasons to keep information just for a specific group.

Not keeping information just for yourself may allow a lot of advantages. Firstly, people working at the same practice area can benefit previous researches to continues their own studying process. Even though they might reach to same results by trying and experiencing, it causes a lot of time, energy and money which may be spent for future researches. More than that sharing information may reduce the number of the researches which already failed when somebody else studied on it.

After discussing the benefits of information sharing, we may also accept that certain reasons let people to keep them as a secret. Sharing all the information that we know with everybody who seek might cause the misuse of the data since these information may contain personal data or the secrets which are protected public constitutions. Violation of privacy may result in national and international problems at the end of the day. Furthermore, sharing as much as information as possible make harder to reach true and examined ones. Although it seems like that it allows individuals to learn more about whatever they want, if the necessary precautions are not taken a huge part of society may accept these informations as a true without questioning it. It may be much more harder to change people's beliefs and ideas than teaching them when they do not know anything about it.

As we can conclude, even though there is certain disadvantages of sharing information, it may be significantly helpful and useful when it come to improvements in researches and ignorance of unnecessary studies. If we manage to put restrictions when it is needed and teach society to do complete research before accepting the data as a true, people can enjoy all the benefits of not only sharing what they know but also learning what the other ones know.

It is 443 words. Is it a problem? Thank you very much.

1. It is better if you start the introduction from "there are huge disputes...."
2. I think we should involve not only for researches field but also in business and academic world
3. when it comes
4. make specific what kind of information do you mean?

Aysun, writing over 300 words in a task 2 essay will be a problem because you will not be able to properly edit the essay before submitting it for scoring. Not only that, but you are going to have to handwrite the essay information so you may find that it will be tiresome to write over 400 words for the essay. Additionally, if you use a timer when you do the practice tests, you will find that there is not enough time to write that many words in the actual timed test setting. So try to write anywhere from 250-275 words, with 300 words being the maximum number of words you can write. Let's put it this way, if you write 25 lines at 5 lines per paragraph, you should have written enough words to assist you in passing the test. You are not being tested on knowledge of a given topic here, just your ability to explain yourself in English. There is no need to overdo the presentation.

I noticed that in this essay, you discussed the two points of view coming from a personal angle. The essay is asking you to discuss the first 2 points coming from the public point of view. Therefore, the public opinion should be clearly indicated when writing the discussion. That way the examiner knows that you are not yet discussing your personal opinion. The personal opinion discussion should come, properly represented by ownership words "In my opinion, I believe that, That is why I support" and other variations thereof prove that you are finally discussing your personal opinion.

Your prompt paraphrase does not properly indicate the required information when it comes to the discussion style, since this is not a direct question essay, you should not have started the discussion in the paraphrase. That is because each paragraph should have only one discussion topic (unless otherwise specified) that is fully explained within 3-5 sentences.

You tried too hard to impress with this essay. Please try to keep your writing within the appropriate and expected levels of writing. There are various examples available at this forum to help you familiarize yourself with the different approaches to such discussions. You may even come across the same topic as practiced by a previous test taker here. You will definitely learn from reading such samples of writing and how to avoid the errors they made with their own work.

Thank you very much. Your suggestions are really helpful for me.