Hello everyone,
I currently practice IELTS writing skill. Could you please help me to check this essay and give me advice. Have a nice day.
HERE IS A TOPIC
In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
ESSAY
Shopping centers have been increasing in popularity over the last decades because of their huge advantages. Whether people go there for shopping or entertainment purposes, they provide all kinds of services. In years to come, I strongly believe that people go to shopping malls for both shopping and recreation reasons.
On the one hand, a shopping plaza is an ideal shopping place. It has numerous stores that sell a wide range of products, such as clothes and jewelleries, from both local and international brands. For example, it is straightforward for people to purchase high-end sports footwear from the Nike brand in the center. They can try wearing shoes and get advice from the shop assistants before deciding a shoes model they want.
On the other hand, a shopping mall is a complex building with many entertainment facilities, in particular, restaurants, café shops and cinemas. Evidently, people can choose it as a place to socialize with their family and friends. For instance, there are many restaurants which serve a wide range of traditional cuisines from many countries all around the world in the shopping mall. People can have a cozy gathering there to taste specialities.
In conclusion, I suppose that the causes people go to the shopping malls depend on their intentions. It suggests that the shopping malls upgrade their facilities frequently to serve the customers' needs.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,864 
4788 As an IELTS task 2 response essay, this will get an automatic failing score since it has 226/250 words written. When you do not write the minimum number of words, expect deductions to be applied based on the lacking word number. That will automatically prevent you from receiving a passing score. Try to avoid this sort of auto failure by always writing 250 words. You know you have met the minimum word count (at the very least) when you write 5 sentences in each paragraph.
With regards to the prompt restatement, you did not accurately represent the original topic since:
OT: In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop
YT: Shopping centers have been increasing in popularity over the last decades because of their huge advantages. Whether people go there for shopping or entertainment purposes, they provide all kinds of services.
You were not even close to the original prompt considerations. You wrote your own topic and in the process, will receive a failing mark in the TA section due to prompt deviation representations. Now, when we look at the writing and writer's opinion presentation:
WI: Do you agree or disagree?
WO: I strongly believe that people go to shopping malls for both shopping and recreation reasons.
2 reasons your opinion is wrong:
1. You are using a measured response format when the requirement is a simple agree or disagree response.
2. You are being asked about the possibility that people will go to shopping centers only for entertainment. Your response contradicts the foundation of the discussion.
These early problems with your writing alone already show that you have not properly developed the discussion for the task 2 essay topic you were given. You will get a failing score.
