Ielts writing task 2: Shortage of food and genetically modified foods

One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many countries have to face the problem of producing adequate food. And it is believed that the problems can be possibly solved by modifying foods genetically. While I agree that changing the gene of food can increase the quantity of it. I also believe that it has some drawbacks as it can affect the nutrient and reduce food's effectiveness.

On the one hand, with the development of technology, scientists are capable of modifying the food genetically to increase the quantity of food. Nowadays, much research is being carried out to create seeds that are able to produce a large number of fruits. If we move forward, not only will we create the seeds that can produce more fruits but we can also create the seeds which are able to reduce the harvest time.

On the other hand, artificial seeds or foods can have some drawbacks which can affect the nutrient inside the food. With the purpose to produce more food for people to eat, the nutrition of the food has been ignored. Eating the food without nutrients will affect our health and any motivation in modifying food genetically will be worthless. Not only that, if the food or seeds were able to hold the nutrient inside them and produce more food, the cost for them would be hard to afford. Especially the shortage of food seem to be the problem of many poor countries

In conclusion, although modifying food genetically can be an effective way to produce the amount of food worldwide, people should consider using it as its drawbacks.

''... the quantity of it. I also believe ...'

There should be a comma between ''it'' and ''I believe'' and not a full stop. Generally, your essay is great, short and straightforward.

Here is my opinion about your essay:

Your essay's structure is quite clear: introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion and easy to follow

Your essay is more likely a discussion essay than an opinion one

This essay will not get a passing score. I base that conclusion on the way that you changed the discussion points for the essay from the original. The presentation you have does not respond at all to the prompt requirements. Your discussion instructions changed in the paraphrase when compared to the original

Original Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: While I agree that changing the gene of food can increase the quantity of it. I also believe that it has some drawbacks as it can affect the nutrient and reduce food's effectiveness.

As you can see you changed the discussion response instruction from an extent essay ( I strongly support this statement based on the reasoning that...) to an Advantage./Disadvantage comparison discussion ( While I agree... I also believe that is has some drawbacks...). Therefore, the reviewer will immediately decide that your TA score must be on the failing side, which will make it difficult for you to get a passing score when you consider the other errors in the essay based on the scoring rubic.