Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


The shown line graph indicates the readers' changes of Starmouth School library



Hujjatul19 45 / 64  
Sep 16, 2016   #1
The shown line graph indicates the readers' changes of Starmouth School library according to how many books read over four years period. The readers are grouped based on gender identity. Overall, it is seen clearly that during the first three years, both male and female readers are in accordance. Until in 2011, they intersect. Henceforth, for the next year its gap widened out.

The data shows that from 2009 to 2010, male and female readers who read books in the library jumped steadily. Male readers rose to 30 people while female readers rose to 20 people. Moreover, the male readers read books rose dramatically to 20 books while female readers rose slightly to 60 books. As a result, the gap between them was narrowed down from 40 to zero over a year period.

Nevertheless, in the last year, books that was read by male in the Starmouth School library fall by 20 books, while books read by female reached a peak at 140 books.


  • 281741_1_o.jpg


jamienguyen0911 2 / 4  
Sep 16, 2016   #2
Dear @hujjatul19,

With the line graph, you have to use the past tense for all the verbs. Also, there are problems with your usage of noun, for example "male" or "female". So I think that you can access to the website grammar base to fix these mistakes. It will show you where the mistakes are for free and you dont have to register or create any account.

Best luck to your IELTS - from a former test - taker :)
David54 15 / 20  
Sep 16, 2016   #3
Hallo,

There are several correction,

...The shown line graph indicates...
...according to how many books already read over four years period...
...The readers are grouped intobased on gender identity...
...both of male and female readers are in accordance...
...UntilI n 2011, they intersect.


Home / Writing Feedback / The shown line graph indicates the readers' changes of Starmouth School library
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳