Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear

Hmmm... I think what your teacher is saying is that you substituted summarization for explanation. In other words, you said a lot but never really explained your thesis.

"Sounds too conversational" means that your language is not sufficiently formal. This may also refer to lack of organization or structure.

The last two are elements of style that you can fix fairly easily by good proofreading. The first one is more content related, though, and is closer to what I was talking about.