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IELTS Writing Task 1 Simulation: World Population by Region, 1900 and 2000


Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 18, 2015   #1
The pie charts below give information about world population in 1900 and 2000.

The chart shows the percentage of the world population in each region in 1990 and 2000. The most significant facts to emerge are both changes in population proportion and the area in several regions over the two periods.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, 1900 saw a total of people who inhabited the world at 1.6 billion. The biggest population in the world in this year was Asia at approximately a third of total proportion. Following this, Europe, which included Russia, became the second largest region inhabited by human with a quarter of total population. Lastly, the other regions (North America, Africa, Latin America and others) came out as the least inhabited ones with about half a fifth of Europe's population.

Next, Asia Pacific region, which had additional area of former Soviet Asia, still had the biggest proportion among others with more than half of total world population during the period 2000. In contrast, the other regions only had 3-14% of total world inhabitants within the timeframe. Also in this period, there were two changes in the region categorization; they were Middle East and North Africa as an additional region in the world, and Caribbean became a part of Latin America.




justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 18, 2015   #2
- The most significant facts tothat emerge are both changes in population proportion and the area in several regions over the two periods.

- Following this, Europe, which includedinclude Russia, became the second largest...

Trias, your analysis is great, it's detailed and true to the facts that was gathered thru the graph.

On the last part of your analysis though, mind your punctuation mark, it's the semi colon versus the colon, and if it's a continuous sentence you can use the semi colon or a comma.

Keep writing...

Cheers!!!
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 18, 2015   #3
I have made some suggestions for you. I hope this will help in making your analysis better.

1st paragraph: There is an incorrect fact. The first pie chart indicates the world population in 1900. Change 1990 to 1900 in your opening statement.

2nd paragraph: I revised the first sentence because you want to avoid starting the sentence with moving and explaining 1900 as "saw a total of people".

"A more detailed analysis shows that in 1900 there was a total of 1.6 billion who inhabited the world."

There are some more inaccuracies. Asia is represented by 60% of the pie graph. If you divide 60/100, that equals 3/5 of the population and not one third or 1/3. I would encourage you to use percentages. You could state that Asia represented 60% of the world's population in 1900. Also, when you end the sentence you state half of a fifth to represent the other countries. This is too confusing. One way to convey this to the reader is to state that: these regions represent a smaller percentage of the world population." *

*When you try to use fractions it becomes too confusing. Stating the facts that are represented in the pie chart will be much easier.

3rd paragraph: You need to revise this sentence. There are just minor additions and arrangements of words that need to be corrected.
"Next, the Asia Pacific region, which included the former Soviet Asia, still had the biggest proportion among others with more than half of the total world population in 2000".

I want to suggest that you take the Middle East and Caribbean and make it one sentence. Ex: "The Middle East and North Africa were additional regions in the world, and the Caribbean region became a part of Latin America."
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 18, 2015   #4
The most significant facts to emergeemerged from the graph
1900 saw a total of people who inhabitedliving in some areas in the world at 1.6 billion
Europe, which included Russia, becamerankedthe second largest regionin the total world population
This task is testing how your skills in comparison and contrast work together in a paragraph. Let's say Asian and European populations categorized as the greatest decrease of all figures can be written in a paragraph. Followed by the most significant growth from 1900 to 2000, Africa and Latin America's percentages of world population stay in the other paragraph. Other categories are prior to closing the report.Last but not least, it is always good to write a 2-sentence overview. Here is a quick change:

The chart shows the percentage of the world population in each region in 1990 and 2000. The most significant facts to emerge are both changes in population proportion and the area in several regions over the two periods.

These charts presented below compare the changes of global population in some areas between 1900 and 2000, a 100-year period, measured in percentage. What stands out from the graph reveals that the total world population shows a significant increase over the time period. In any case, the figure of population in Asia dominates a rise in the number of humans in world, although its percentage experiences a downward trend.

thanks,
eddy suaib
OP Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 21, 2015   #5
Greetings, thank you all so, so much for your feedbacks. Please see the revised version of my first couple paragraph below:

These charts presented below compare the changes of global population in some areas between 1900 and 2000, a 100-year period, measured in percentage. What stands out from the graph reveals that the total world population shows a significant increase over the time period. In any case, the figure of population in Asia dominates a rise in the number of humans in world, although its percentage experiences a downward trend.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, 1900 saw a total of people living in some areas in the world at 1.6 billion. The biggest population in the world in this year was Asia at approximately a third of total proportion. Following this, Europe, which included Russia, ranked second in the total world population with a quarter of total population. Lastly, the other regions (North America, Africa, Latin America and others) came out as the least inhabited ones with about half a fifth of Europe's population.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 21, 2015   #6
Para 2:
- Sentence 3; write Europe including/ which was included/with Russia.
- Sentence 4; Lastly (DELETE). For the time being, you don't need this sequencer. We use "lastly" when it comes to "process".

Also, I suggest rewriting the sentence 4, since it indicates a shopping list, or lazy talks. Let me give a try;
The percentage of population in Africa increased dramatically from 4% to 10%, between 1900 and 2000. Also, a rise of 5% of world population in 100 years was seen in Latin American & Caribbean. By contrast, there were no significant changes in the trend of world population in both North America and other regions.

Thanks, eddy suaib


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