IELTS - 'slight difference'; The illiteracy rates around the world

Hi guys, here is my task 1 essay, please check it for me. Many thanks. :D

The chart below illustrates the proportion of illiterate men and women in different areas in 2000.

There was a slight difference in percentage of illiterate men and women in the first 3 sectors while the rates in the last 3 sectors experienced a dramatic difference. The rates of illiterate women were always higher than that of men in all regions.

The last three sectors witnessed the very high illiteracy rates and demonstrated the big unevenness in proportion of illiteracy between men and women. Particularly, the highest illiteracy rate of women was recorded in South Asia with 55% which was twofold higher than that of men with 32%. The rates in Arab and Africa were 52% women versus 29% men and 48% women versus 31% men, respectively.

By contrast, the first three sectors had the low percentage of illiterate men and women. While the lowest figure for men and women was approximately the same in Develop Countries with 2%, the rate of illiterate men in East Asia was 9% which is half of women's with about 18%. The illiteracy rate in Latin was 10% male compared to 12% female.

(188 words)

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The first 3 sectors" and "the last 3 sectors" are somewhat confusing to me. Also, I don't think there was a slight difference in percentage of illiterate men and women in the first 3 sectors as the percentage of illiterate women in East Asia/Oceania was relatively higher than that of men.

It is apparent that more women were illiterate than men in all regions in 2000. Likewise, South Africa experienced the highest illiteracy rates whereas developed countries had the lowest figures.

Oh, thanks Wandering. :D. I'll fix it :D

Hey .... this is a wrong statement. The chart illustrates the literacy rates which means that what percentage of the entire population is literate. It does not give the numbers of how many men and women are illiterate. It's quite other way round. My advice is for you to take as much as help from the chart title. Don't deviate too much from what it says. .... Also, mention it is regional based. The word region has more depth than area. You may use same terms used in the chart title and there's no harm as long as you interpret in your own words.

hey... Pahan... you have made an oversight here .... the graph talks about illiterate percentages. You are absolutely right about the numbers and percentage issue, but here xucoi is in the right track - I mean that although he/she is quite right on interpreting percentage values to numbers, he/she understands what the graph spells out. ..

ohhhhh... yes.... sorry about my mistake :(