Unanswered [2] | Urgent [1] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 9

We did not have smart phones - Doing the same thing and avoiding change?


jannychen 2 / 7 1  
Jan 1, 2014   #1
In modern times, change is prevalent in our lives. Whether or not people need change in their lives to be a arguable issue. In my opinion, change is positive as it makes our lives meaningful and we will receive experience and value of life.

On one hand, people are willing to change since they embrace changes will make their lives meaningful. Change creates new things, which lead the time leap forward, so that we are in a different and modern age. It takes us involve different circumstance. When I was young, we did not have smart phones. It is likely we did not realize how much technology would affect on our lives. It is extremely wonderful in our lives.

Beyond that, it is beneficial as it makes our lives experienced and valuable. When we have families and become parents for instance. It is the time we become mentally mature and take on more obligations than ever. We gain happiness and responsibilities in a different situation. It makes us grasp more experience and value of life.

One the other hand, the others who are not in favor of changing as they feel satisfied and stable in current circumstance. They believe that staying without change is the best way to give safe and stable. For example, transition in position or statue gives people worries about whether they can deal with new tasks. Therefore, changes are considered as big challenges and stressful factors.

In conclusion, change is positive as it makes our lives meaningful and we will receive experience and value of life.

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Jan 2, 2014   #2
Is this essay a practice essay for IELTS or TOEFL? You better include the purpose of your writing in the essay title so that we can provide you with more task relevant feed backs :)

Whether or not people need change in their lives to be a arguable issue.

You do not adequately introduce your prompt. You need to elaborate that more.
ftn 2 / 7  
Jan 2, 2014   #3
as it makes our lives meaningful and we will receive experience and value of life.

as it makes our lives more meaningful and valuable.
to acquire experience/ not receive
ftn 2 / 7  
Jan 2, 2014   #4
people are willing to change since they embrace changes will make their lives meaningful.

people are willing to change since changes will make their lives more meaningful./ since changes will enrich their lives.
ftn 2 / 7  
Jan 2, 2014   #5
It takes us involve different circumstance.

It makes us involved in different circumstances./ It involves us in many different cir...

It is likely we did not realize how much technology would affect on our lives.
OP jannychen 2 / 7 1  
Jan 2, 2014   #6
thank you for fixing the grammar errors.
OP jannychen 2 / 7 1  
Jan 2, 2014   #7
ilets task2 topicsome people prefer to stay doing the same thing and avoiding change, others, however, think that change is a good thing. Discuss both these views and give yours opinion.
mariam zia 1 / 3  
Jan 3, 2014   #8
good effort but try to start with a strong thesis statement, prove it with great arguments and keep a flow between sentences. while reading your essay i feel lack of clarity and fluency.
OP jannychen 2 / 7 1  
Jan 3, 2014   #9
thanks
i want to improve my grammer skill´╝ü


Home / Writing Feedback / We did not have smart phones - Doing the same thing and avoiding change?