Smoking is on the increase among young people. Discuss the problem.

youth's cigarette smoking problem

The increasing amount of young smokers has been a cause of concern for some time. As recent surveys show that one-fifth of the total population takes up smoking before they are 20 years old, and this percentage has grown steadily in recent years. It seems increasingly clear that this development is causing problems in our society, and effective measures should be taken to solve these problems.

The first problem of cigarette smoking is that those who smoke for a long time take a high risk of suffering from serious health problems such as heart attacks, tuberculosis, and lung cancer. It has already been proved by scientists that tobaccos containing a large amount of nicotine and other perilous substances trigger a high risk of lung cancer, which is currently still incurable. In fact, in the United States, cigarette smoking is linked to about 80% to 90% of lung cancer deaths. Another worrying trend is that tobacco smoke has an adverse impact on the health of people who expose to it. For instance, researchers strongly suggest that children exposed to tobacco smoke are at increased risk of hearing loss. Scientists state that non-smokers do not get the benefit from their system adapting to smoke inhalation so the effects of passive smoking are far greater on non-smokers than on smokers.

One way to eradicate the problems of smoking would be that the governments should impose heavier taxes on cigarettes to persuade more people to give up smoking, especially youngers. If the measure were taken, even if it were possible for children to buy cigarettes before they are eighteen, it would be impossible for them to afford it. Moreover, the governments must introduce restrictions on smoking in public places. By controlling the emission of tobacco smoke in public places, we could improve the air quality and prevent non-smoker from passive smoking. Another solution would be for parents to teach their children about the wide variety of ailments that smoking produces. As a result, youngers would understand what will happen to them if they smoke, which reduces the prevalence of smoking among young people in our society.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that cigarette smoking may cause incredibly serious health problems, both smokers and non-smokers. Furthermore, the very effective way to reduce the number of young smoking people is by raising taxes on cigarettes, promulgating policies on banning smoking in public places, and educating people about the significant impact of cigarettes on people's health.

The first half of the essay is a direct prompt deviation. Information about the member of young smokeus are not indicated in the original prompt. The finst discussion point in relation to the reasons for this problem was changed to problems smoking causes. The essay, at this point, is presenting a response unrelated to the task. In relation to that, an irrelevant paragraph discussion was presented soon after. These are the presentation points that will lead to a failed preliminary score for this essay. These will also be the reason for the final overall failing score of the presentation.

It is important that the discussion presentation is never changed from the original course/ content. The student is scored on his ability to understand and follow English instructions. The writer followed one out of two discussion instructions. The writer must always follow both instructions and offer a paraphrase without adding unsupported data (not in the original prompt).

In the first passage, you should avoid repeating words used in previous lines. You should use more synonyms and express flexibly.
In my opinion, the second and third passages are good. I think you must have read many information and evidence. However, you should use words which are more academic.

In the last passage, you should replace "Futhermore" with " Therefore" or "Hence" in order to create a link between ideas. The solutions you offered should be more general. not more detail because this passage is the summary of your essay.