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Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants



vaishali1980 26 / 76  
Jan 10, 2011   #1
Help me to correct my errors.

Do you agree or disagree with following statement?
Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld. Used specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Modern life is too hectic and stressful which cause people easily addict drugs and smoking. I agree with statement that smoking should not be permitted in restaurants and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld. The reason I believe this statements are to avoid effects on other people health, restrict wrong doing fashion and aware the people of smoking hazards.

The main reason to support this statement is that affects on others health and pollute environment. Study reveal that smoking is affected to other people's health who surrounding the smoker. Restaurant is a place where all ages people come for having food. Generally people come in restaurant for having food and spending happy time with family. If we allow smoking in restaurant, it will ruin the others health especially children as well as it pollute environment. We should not allow people to smoke in restaurant to avoid effect on others and keep environment clean.

The second reason is restrict the unacceptable fashion. Some people generally youth addict for smoking as a fashion. Some TV channels and in movies, actors do smoking to show a style. Youth follow their style and become addict for smoking. In addition some people smoke for stress release. Cigarettes contain drugs which relax brain. People smoke without thinking for their side effects.

Furthermore, Government should take a part to encourage people to stop the smoking. Government should do some advertisement against smoking and aware of their hazards.

In conclusion, smoking should not be permitted not only in restaurants but also all public areas. Government should make a law against smoking and people should be upheld those laws.

mary_may 1 / 2  
Jan 12, 2011   #2
Hi,

I didn't really understand what you want. Do you need grammar check or evaluation of your ideas expressed in youe essay? Anyhow, I think it would be better to leave grammar to native speakers ;) As for the ideas, I think you should also consider the opposite view on the topic. For instance, some people think that such a harsh restriction of smoking in the restaurants is a violation of human rights in some way. It would be more fair to allow the restaurants that have at least two separate halls to leave one for smokers.

Also, I think your essay is very simple in terms of style and vocabulary used, probably you should try to enreach your essay and make it more vivid.

I hope I was of some use to you :)
OP vaishali1980 26 / 76  
Jan 12, 2011   #3
Thanks Maria for useful suggestion.

I need help in both grammar check and ideas I expressed.

I think to explain opposite view on this topic is very difficult and I have more points instead of opposite view.


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