about land erosion worldwide
This is my ielts writing essay.Can someone help me check it and give me some advices,please?Thank you very much
This is the link of the charts :
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And this is my essays:
The pie chart and the table illustrate major reasons triggerring land erosion and their influences on three areas of the world (NA,E,O) in the 1990s.
Overall,it is clear that over-grazing is the principal reason causing soil degradation .Also, land in Oceania took high proportion in over-grazing ,nevertheless, the figure for Europe reached the biggest in total land degraded. Looking at pie chart in more details,we can see that the proportion of over-grazing is the highest in the number of causes,at 35% .In terms of deforestation and over-cultivation ,the number of them is quite similar with 30% and 28%,respectively.There are other factors that have responsible for 7% of land degradation.
Looking more specific in three regions affected ,obviously 0.2% of deforestation impacts on NA was the lowest while 9.8% of this problem belonged to E ,in contrast and there was about 1.7% in the O figure.When it comes to over-cultivation, the figure for NA and E were both higher than acception(3.3% and 7.7% ) while O was not attacked by this factor .However, there was a problem in the percentage of land in O degarded by over-grazing ,which accounted for 11.3%,twice as much as the percentage of E.Finally,the proportion total land degraded by 3 problems were also the highest in E(23%).