The Solar System - "system of the Sun"

Timothy 2 / 3

Mar 4, 2012 #1

This is my essay!! Pls comment if I made any mistakes!! :)

Solar System means "system of the Sun". There are 9 planets in our solar system(including Pluto). These 9 planets orbit the sun meaning the take a specific amount of time to travel around the Sun once. These 9 planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Mercury is the first planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 3,029 miles(4,878 kilometres). Venus is the second planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 7,515 miles(12,102 kilometres). One day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days. Earth is the third planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 7,921 miles(12,756 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting around it. Mars is the fourth planet form the Sun. It has a diameter of 4,218 miles(6,792 kilometres) and has 2 moons orbiting around it. Jupiter is the fifth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 88,793 miles(142,984 kilometres) and has at least 16 moons orbiting around it.Jupiter is known as a gas giant. Saturn is the sixth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 74,853 miles(120,536 kilometres) and has at least 18 moons orbiting around it. Saturn is also a gas giant and has rings of dust, gas and ice encircling it. Uranus is the seventh planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 31,744 miles(51,118 kilometres) and has 17 moons orbiting around it. Neptune is the eighth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 30,757 miles(49,528 kilometres) and has 8 moons orbiting around it. Pluto is the last planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 1, 430 miles( 2,300 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting it. Scientists and other people argue that Pluto is not a planet because it is too far away from the Sun and orbits the Sun in the opposite direction than how other planets orbit the Sun. The Sun is a big star that is really hot. The Scientist Galileo looked at the Sun for too long through a telescope and became blind. The Sun is so hot that if you come closer to it, you will disintegrate in fractions of a second. There are other stars in the Universe that are ten times bigger than our Sun.

Thanks!
:)

mikcuff876 1 / 1

Mar 5, 2012 #2

Solar System means "system of the Sun". There are 9 planets in our solar system(inclusive of Pluto).These 9 planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These 9 planets orbit the sun, meaning they take a specific amount of time to travel around the Sun once. Mercury is the first planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 3,029 miles(4,878 kilometres). Venus is the second planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 7,515 miles(12,102 kilometres). One day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days. Earth is the third planet from the Sun. It has a diameter of 7,921 miles(12,756 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting around it. Mars is the fourth planet form the Sun. It has a diameter of 4,218 miles(6,792 kilometres) and has 2 moons orbiting around it. Jupiter is the fifth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 88,793 miles(142,984 kilometres) and has at least 16 moons orbiting around it.Jupiter is known as a gas giant. Saturn is the sixth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 74,853 miles(120,536 kilometres) and has at least 18 moons orbiting around it. Saturn is also a gas giant and has rings of dust, gas and ice encircling it. Uranus is the seventh planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 31,744 miles(51,118 kilometres) and has 17 moons orbiting around it. Neptune is the eighth planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 30,757 miles(49,528 kilometres) and has 8 moons orbiting around it. Pluto is the last planet from the Sun and has a diameter of 1, 430 miles( 2,300 kilometres) and has 1 moon orbiting it. Scientists and other people argue that Pluto is not a planet because it is too far away from the Sun and orbits the Sun in the opposite direction than how other planets orbit the Sun. The Sun is a big star that is really hot. The Scientist Galileo looked at the Sun for too long through a telescope and became blind. The Sun is so hot that if you come closer to it, you will disintegrate in fractions of a second. There are other stars in the Universe that are ten times bigger than our Sun.

did some corrections read it over

esparanza 1 / 1

Mar 6, 2012 #3

Timothy, you did not specify the purpose of your essay or may me I missed it so I can't really state if it's appropriate or not. It is very descriptive and I feel your sentences seems somewhat isolated and needs use of more connective phrases.

Thanks for your feedback, I will try to make the changes :)
Good luck