Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Southland's Main Exports Between 2000 and 2015 and Its Prediction in 2025


Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
May 25, 2015   #1
The bar chart gives information concerning the major exports in Southland between 2000 and 2025 and is measured in billion pounds. Overall, it can be seen that international will predict to have the highest exports in 2025, while meat products exports will be reduced. In addition, meat product have the lowest exports over the period in question.

With regard to to the amount of Southland's main exports in 2000 and 2015, in 2000, while international tourism witnessed the biggest exports at above 8 billion, dairy and meat products' exports experienced only under 7 billion. However, dairy product exports more than 9 billion in 2015 and is followed by international tourism export and meat products exports at just under 8.5 billion.

A closer look at the data reveals that in the future, international tourism in Southland will be highly export. In 2025, exports of meat products will be decreased to 5 billion and dairy products will export more than 9 billion. Furthermore, international tourism export increased over the time frame and then it will reach 10 billion in 2025.




bisho 2 / 3  
May 25, 2015   #2
meat product havehas the lowest exports over the period in question.
keep writing :) you were good
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 25, 2015   #3
A few points below;
Para 1:
- Sentence 1; Write the table shows "a breakdown of..." This lexical choice is by far better than "information concerning..."
- Sentence 2; Have you ever heard Period Sentence ? It is a sentence which is of the main clause or predicate at the end. This is used to create interest for readers. Here is the formula: While SV, SV. I suggest patching this formula into your overview above.

- Sentence 3; ... the exports of meat products have fallen to the lowest level over the period in question.

Para 2:
- Sentence 1;
* "the amount of...exports" (FLAW). "Amount" should be followed by uncountable noun.
* Write Both diary and meat products have experienced solely under 7 billion on a year-over-year exports.
* and is followed by (DELETE). Write "and then some at..."

Para 3:
- Sentence 1; surely, this phrase "highly export" is uncommon. Do you mean this: "the most popular products exported from..." ???
- Sentence 2; will be decreased (FLAW) Write will decrease.
Hope this helps. Thanks, eddy suaib.


Home / Writing Feedback / Southland's Main Exports Between 2000 and 2015 and Its Prediction in 2025