I would like to attend Boston University because of the atmosphere the school has been able to create. Aside from the wide-range of classes Boston University provides and their unpartisan nature towards/with each of them, I think the school has a rare ability to teach students both in and outside of the classrooms. I believe that although media such as books and/or lectures, followed with PowerPoints and/or Prezis are helpful tools when discussing facts and figures, people are still considered the best medium in understanding different cultures and customs. I don't want to stop my understanding of a state with acknowledgment of its capital city or its national language; I want to learn its "secrets", things that a well-educated man could not tell you but a well-cultured man could. For example, the word "zesht" in Farsi means ugly, but as any Iranian could tell you, it has a deeper meaning; it not only pertains to physical appearance but any action and behavior stemming from cultural practices, clothing, and/or family relationships. Such an understanding is especially crucial to me as I eventually want to go to third world countries and help people obtain American luxuries (the right to vote, equal opportunity, and...freedom). Through Boston University's hundreds of study aboard programs and their large international population (consists of 23% of the demographic), I believe Boston University would be an amazing school to attend, if I were to be accepted.
'specific atmosphere that the school creates' - BOSTON UNIVERSITY
Sorry I just posted my paragraph.. I just need help on ways I can make it better. Any comments are greatly appreciated!
Katiyoun, I don't think that this is a very effective statement. The reasons that you look to attend Boston University are not really clear in your essay. You seem to be fixated on something about world culture and a world of learning. However, there is no real connection with your desire to attend Boston University. It lacks a central thought that could reflect your interests in the university as an academic institution and as a student community.
Please consider looking at at the reasons that you want to attend the university from a different point of view. Cite the academic programs that you feel will help you gain the kind of education you are looking for. Show an interest in a specific social activity that the students participate in. Give the reviewer an idea of what you understand about the university.
This is the point in your application when you have to do a little research and show the reviewer that you understand what the university is all about. That you can manage to tie in their mission and objectives into you own life and embody their message as a member of the student body. Right now, your response contains only information about the university that the reviewer already knows. So he won't really understand why you are telling him information about his university instead of giving a specific answer to the prompt.
I believe that you can better direct your essay response if you reconsider the reasons that you want to attend the university and try to relate it more towards the potential relationship that you will have with the student community and the academic crowd of the university.
Please consider looking at at the reasons that you want to attend the university from a different point of view. Cite the academic programs that you feel will help you gain the kind of education you are looking for. Show an interest in a specific social activity that the students participate in. Give the reviewer an idea of what you understand about the university.
This is the point in your application when you have to do a little research and show the reviewer that you understand what the university is all about. That you can manage to tie in their mission and objectives into you own life and embody their message as a member of the student body. Right now, your response contains only information about the university that the reviewer already knows. So he won't really understand why you are telling him information about his university instead of giving a specific answer to the prompt.
I believe that you can better direct your essay response if you reconsider the reasons that you want to attend the university and try to relate it more towards the potential relationship that you will have with the student community and the academic crowd of the university.