Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Spendings of four big countries in the world for various purposes



ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

A breakdown of the information about five major categories which spend the expenses of United States, Canada, United Kingdom, and Japan in 2009 is depicted by the bar graph. Overall, it can be seen that most of all countries spent their income in housing purposes than the other categories. The United States became the country which spent the most expenditures in housing

To begin with, three of five categories which were food, housing and transportation were spent by many countries higher than other categories. The United States shared the most expenditure about above a quarter in housing while others gained under a quarter. Food consumption was spent by Japan at around 23% while the United States consumed solely under 15%. Moreover, Canada and the United Kingdom gained 20% and 15% respectively, and Canada dominated in transportation at 20% whereas others gained under 13% separately

On the other hand, health care and clothing witnessed the fewer expenditures in these countries. The United States gained under 10% in health care whereas others consumed under 5%. In contrast, clothing expenditure gained above 5% in Canada and the United Kingdom while above 5% experienced in the United States and Japan respectively


  • Bar Chart


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 73  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hello ifraaa!
Allow me to give you some suggestion :)

Instead of using those words repetitively, I suggest you these similiar words.
Food = Groceries
Housing = Accomodation
Transportation = Travel needs

... gained 20% and 15% respectively, and. Canada dominated in ...

... and clothing witnessed the fewer expenditures ...
You do not need put article "the" for comparing. Exception for superlative.

Thankyou!
Fighting!


Home / Writing Feedback / Spendings of four big countries in the world for various purposes
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳