When staff is satisfied with their job they are more likely to do their duty very well.

In the modern society of today all of people have to work and spend lots of time for their work. there are an array of factors that according to them, people select their job.everyone has special and individual elements for choosing a job that job satisfaction is one of the important of them.

to my mind, today people have an especial attention to job satisfaction and i think sometimes this factor is more important element than another factors.when one has a sense of satisfactory in his or her workplace. he does his duty very well and also this factor really keeps his spirit up.

there are several factors that make job satisfaction for workers such as a good manager,high salary and friendly ambiance and without stress. a manager should contact with the employee and admire them in their work.

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Vorojak, you have just committed the biggest violation in sentence / paragraph development. You did not use capital letters to spell out the first word of every new sentence. If you are practicing for the TOEFL or IELTS, I can assure you that you have already failed the test even before your essay has been read. You have lost major points that will definitely prevent you from passing the essay test.

Your paragraphs are totally under developed and does not really present any clear or coherent thought on your part. While some ideas work, such as the need for open communication, without a proper discussion coming from you, your line of reasoning just leaves the reading hanging. So you really need to revise the essay. Each of your paragraphs are just too short to be considered a real paragraph. It should be composed of at least 3 - 5 completely developed sentences. That is why your thought process is reflected as incoherent and muddled. By explaining your ideas more, your essay will benefit from the strength of your argument.

Address these major problems with the essay first and then post the new version here so that we can assist you with polishing it :-)

vangiespen:
I am so sorry for my mistakes and my bad essay!!!!!!!!
I hope that I could revise my essay well!!!!!!!

In the modern society of today all of people have to work and spend the majority number of hours for their work. There is an array of factors that according to them, people select their job. Job satisfaction is one of the most important of these elements that many factors make it such as high salary, good manager and a peaceful environment.

To my mind, when a person apply for a job, first and foremost he or she attentions to its salary because people need a job with high income. When people can fulfill their needs, they are more likely to have job satisfaction. Also having a good manager that can support them and be sympathetic is a contributing factor for creating job satisfaction. A good employer should attention to demands and requests of employees. He or she can give them wage for encouraging them. All of these works can bring about job satisfaction for staff.

Another factor that can appeal workers and create job satisfaction is a warm and peaceful atmosphere in workplaces. In my view having a warm ambiance without stress causes workers have job satisfaction and thus do their duties very well. For instance one year ago I worked in a laboratory but I don't have job satisfaction on the grounds that it was full of stress and I couldn't continue my work. I always blame my boss because of she couldn't create a friendly atmosphere for us so all of my colleagues expressed a sense of dissatisfaction.

In conclusion, job satisfaction is a significant factor for all of worker, but in my opinion it isn't realistic that the expectation of job satisfaction for all them is the same. There are certainly other elements that create job satisfaction for staff and these factors depend to person's opinion.

vorojak, revise it I will :-)


- There is a debate about what people value more when considering a job opportunity. Some look at the high salary, good management, or even a peaceful work environment. While for others, it is simply job satisfaction that they are looking for. In my opinion...

- You need to state your opinion in order to make this essay effective.


Reading the rest of the essay, I have come to realize that there is a better way to write this paper. Write it from the point of view of a job applicant. Why would he consider job satisfaction over everything else? How does he judge job satisfaction? The reasoning that you gave is quite confusing and does not really make a solid point. I am trying to help you develop the points that your essay should be discussing.

Your conclusion is weak because it continues to present new ideas and hypothesis rather than a summary of facts and a conclusion. Kindly revise it to reflect the correct requirements of the conclusion in a prompt.