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IELTS Task 2: The state Has An Obligation To Give Free Education And Health Services


fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Nov 24, 2015   #1
All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people argue that the state has an obligation to give free education and health services for every single citizen. I totally agree with this argument since law and order regulate that welfare of society is responsibility of the government. However, while poor people receive the assistance, the persons who are wealthy do not need to be fully funded.

As governments, they have authorities to manage State's income through natural resources and taxes, and use it for prosperous purpose by improving services. Therefore, the governments develop state hospitals and schools to help poor people, so that they can access easily because they really need. Likewise, they provide the best infrastructures and qualified human resources to give the greatest services to them. But, the states have to be selective only for the poorer.

However, I think that the government should encourage society to effort, not only waiting the aid from the state, but also achieving the welfare life. For instance, the richer can choose private services and pay by their selves when they need to cure diseases or education. On the other hand, the richer appears inaccurate target for receiving helps from the state. They can use their own money and take a part to support poor people instead.

To sum up, I do believe that the governments need to help poor people to allocate some money for them to get free healthcare and education. Moreover, it will be more suitable than every single one obtains including the wealthy individuals. Furthermore, society's welfare is responsibility of all people in the world, so they should motivate and inspire one and another.

(270 word)

shuto 4 / 7 2  
Nov 24, 2015   #2
I found some errors and vague points, but for over all, I think your passage is well structured. I like how you used the hooks in each paragraph, which help readers to follow your logic.

Nice work!!

Therefore, the governments develop state hospitals and schools to help poor people, so that they can access easily because they reallyare in need. (because?)

I would say "Therefore, the governments provide with public healthcare and education for those who are in need."

Likewise, they provide the best infrastructures and qualified human resources to give the greatest services to them . ("they" and "them" are unclear pronouns.)

the government should encourage society to effort , not only waiting the aid from the state, but also achieving the welfare life.
(I can't figure out your structure here. "effort" is a noun, not a verb.)

pay by their selvesthemselves

I do believe that the governments need to help poor people to allocate some money for themto poor people so that they canto getenjoy free healthcare and education.

it will be more suitable than every single one obtains including the wealthy individuals.
(You should paraphrase this sentence because I don't see what you're comparing with.)

society's welfare is responsibility of all people in the worldAll people in the world are responsible for society's welfare , so they should motivate and inspire one and another.


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