Statistical information about the underground railway systems in six cities

the year of opening, the total route length and the passengers number

Question:
The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:
The provided table denotes the year of opening, the total route length in kilometres and the number of annual passengers in millions that six major cities' underground railway networks receive.

As is observed from the table, the older a railway system is, the more kilometres of rail route it comprises. It is also worth noting that Tokyo's and Paris's railways systems receive the largest numbers of passengers per year, whereas this figure is relatively low regarding Kyoto's and Los Angeles's complexes.

Turning to the details, it is apparent that London's railway system is established in 1863, prior to the opening of all its counterpart. With a considerable 394 kilometres of rail route, it is a solid exemplifier to the aforementioned trend. A notable exception to that is Los Angeles's network, with 28 kilometres of railway - 17 kilometres longer that that of its Kyoto counterpart - while being the latest in terms of opening date.

A detailed look at the passengers column reveals that 1927 and 1191 millions are respectively the number of annual customers Tokyo's and Paris's underground railway complexes recieves, while 45 and 50 millions are that of Kyoto's and Los Angeles's.

While i wrote this in about 27 minutes with a little research for synonyms of "system", i feel that i've improved from my last IELTS task 1, at least in terms of sentence length. Please give any feedback and a band score if possible.

• 
  FireShot_Capture_1_.png
  

Hoang, if you take 27 minutes to write one analytical report, you are taking too much time. You only have 20 minutes to work on the Task 1 essay. That means you need to accomplish the following within an allotted time frame:

5 minutes - analyze and outline the report
15 minutes - draft the report ( reexamine the illustration to be sure you cover all obvious points)
5 minutes - edit and revise (if necessary) the report. (Look for certain aspects to compare or contrast if possible that were not included in your original draft)

As always, the summary review for your report is incomplete. Make sure that all the pertinent data is included in the summary because this proves how well you analyzed the report and also, that you are capable of thinking in English as well as writing in the language. The correct summary statement? Here's a sample:

A column chart has been presented for reporting. It covers the six underground railway systems of London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington D.C., Kyoto, and Los Angeles. It considers that number of passengers per year in the millions based on the kilometers of the route taken since the railway systems opened. There are 2 obvious trends represented in the chart. Paris and Tokyo have the highest number of passengers while Kyoto and Los Angeles have the least passengers based on the kilometers of the route.

Do not mistake long sentences for informative sentences. The longer your sentences, the stronger your tendency to blur your report. Keep it short but informative. 5 moderate length sentences per paragraph will always do the trick. Do not write more than 200 words or you will run out of time to edit. Writing 175 words is more than enough words to help you present a clear explanation of the information. We are looking for clarity in your declarations, not the amount of English words that you know. Keep it short.

Familiarize yourself with synonym words during your off hours. Do not look for synonyms during the actual practice test. You will definitely always end up running over time if you do that. Remember, you can't research word usage during the actual exam. There won't be a computer for you to use to do that. So read up on synonyms during your vocabulary building exercises instead.

As for the score, you won't be scored down for writing too many words. In fact, it may even help you if you used the words in the proper context and your explanation is very clear. Remember though that if you don't finish writing the essay, the amount of words you wrote could work against your final score since your essay may end up unfinished in the analysis part.

I think you can get a 5 with this type of writing, provided you can do the same kind of work within the time allotment. I know it will be hard to do which is why I would like you to try to develop a writing style that will allow you to use less words but deliver more information. Additional advice. practice using transition sentences to help ease the reader into the presentation of the next discussion. By using transition sentences, you will be able to showcase your vocabulary and sentence structure skills in a more noticeable and beneficial manner.