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( IELTS essay) Stay in hostel or at home during university studies?



joythblessy 86 / 266  
Jan 17, 2013   #1
Many university students live with their families while others need to live to live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages both situations?

To begin with, university students are no longer children or mature adults. These young adults sometimes decided to stay in hostel for university studies, while others continue to stay with their parents. There are pros and cons in both of these conditions.

To begin with, staying with family during higher studies gives more flexibility for students in their daily activities. For instance, one can eat, sleep and play at any time he desires. The warmth of protection of his family members helps him to face problems and the assistance of well experienced family members is a blessing for them to overcome it effectively. The financial benefit of saving hostel fee is another advantage. Nevertheless, his studies may be distracted as he is attached to the affairs of the family. Since his relatives support him, it will be increasingly difficult for him to meet any emergency conditions alone and decision-making capacity may not develop properly.

On the other hand, if one decided to join the company of the peer group in the hostel, he can share and discuss each other about their similar academic subjects. It will help him to clear doubts and study well. Most importantly, as he is staying alone, he will be able to learn the lessons of independency such as time management decision-making capacity, look after personal needs and so on. Mingling with people of different cultures broaden his outlook and knowledge about how to behave in a community. The power of toleration and communication skills will boost up. Respect to others rights, sharing common things, helping mentality and so forth will enrich their personality and enhance self-confidence. Moreover, these skills are essential for the success in their future lives. At the same time, they may indulge in bad company, practice bad habits like smoking, drug addiction and so on, which may spoil their future. Besides, living independently may sometimes create issues in decision-making and bad decisions may put them into insurmountable problems.

The period of higher education is a period of preparation of future life. Young adults should learn how to learn in the society. Staying in the home and hostel has its own benefits and drawbacks. One should be wise before choosing one among them.

devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 17, 2013   #2
time management, decision-making capacity, --- > comma missing

Young adults should learn how to learn in the society. --->something missing i think "Young adults should learn about the society".

Regards,
Devaraj
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 17, 2013   #3
To begin with, university students are no longer children or mature adults

Here,"no longer children " is fine, but "no longer mature adults" is wrong because they haven't yet become mature adults. So there is a technical error here :D However, I like the way you started, it is a meaningful sentence :)

To begin with, university students are adolescents who are no more children but not yet adults either.

These young adults sometimes decided to stay in hostel for university studies

... this is a recurrent event , so keep it in present tense.
Good intro. You show lots of creativeness in your writing. :)
OP joythblessy 86 / 266  
Jan 18, 2013   #4
Hai Dumi...

Thanks for the wonderful correction..
yes, it is an error in expression. I mean what you wrote..
Moreover, little confusion was there to change that opening sentance or not..
Thanks for the guidence..

Tessy


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