Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Strict ban on plastic bags - opinion essay



jalp 13 / 34  
Mar 22, 2019   #1
In many countries, plastic bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree?

Strict ban on plastic bags.



Pollution is one of the greatest problems here on Earth. Plastics bags contribute to the planet's downhill, therefore, many countries have banned plastic bags to save the environment. In my opinion, I completely agree to this reinforcement.

Trash is not environmental-friendly. It is also one of the causes of water pollution. Plastics bags are the main type of trash that can harm the ocean, as well as the sea creautures. Death of sea mammals are all over the news because of their accidental inhalation or intake of plastic products. Thus, dead animals in the ocean is toxic to people and to those who are main sources of income rely on fishing.

In addition to that, not only the water is polluted, but the land as well. Flood is one of the main outcome of rubbish bags stuck under the land or storage of waste materials. When storm comes, there are dams who are responsible for collecting the water in the cities caused by rain, however, because plastic bags are in the way, the function of dams is not met, thus, causing flood to some areas.

As an example, In the Philippines, there are cities where they do not allow plastic bags in the establishments, grocery stores, fast food chains and even hotels. They promote using of paper bags as a replacement to plastic products. Imposing a slogan that the humanity should lessen the use of plastic materials.

Therefore, I totally agree that banning plastic bags can help the world to be a better place. This law can reduce water and land pollution to many countries. With that in mind, people will be aware of the harmful effects of plastic bags to the environment.

Maria - / 1096  
Mar 22, 2019   #2
Jalp,

I think the structure of your essay is already good. However, I would also consider looking into breaking down your sentences. You have a tendency to create long sentences which can easily be stripped down to be friendlier to the reader.

For instance, let's take into account your first paragraph. I would have made the second sentence into this:

Many countries have banned plastic bags to save the environment because they contribute to the degradation of the earth.

This is a better way to phrase it because you are able to establish your thought and reasoning without dragging the sentence.

Another revision could be from your third paragraph wherein the last sentence can be phrased as:

The huge amount of plastic bags have caused the failure of dams to accommodate to large flows of water, especially when the storm comes. This results to flooding.

Apart from this, I also suggest that when making academic essays, make sure that you extensively discuss the why of your arguments. When you mention how pollution contributes to the earth's problems, it would be wise to mention statistics. This can make your essay well-grounded and factual. Also, please make sure that you review your grammar rules because you make small mistakes such as using "who" instead of "that" when referring to objects. I appreciate your usage of examples, however just keep in mind my previous comments about your usage of grammar.


Home / Writing Feedback / Strict ban on plastic bags - opinion essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳