Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Students' mandatory volunteering in their free time to serve the communities



lyvlyv 1 / 1  
Aug 19, 2021   #1

All teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community



Many schools started proposing students' mandatory volunteering in their free time to serve the communities. In my point of view, it does make sense for students to get involved in voluntary programs during their free time; however, they should never feel pressured or be ordered to participate in such programs.

It is inevitable that teenagers can reap many benefits when they dedicate time to give back to their communities. This is especially evident in the context of students with less social experience wanting to step out of their comfort zone and increase their salience. As youngsters are heavily engaged in academic environments, most of them might lack social skills for the sake of their future life. With frequent interaction with people from all social backgrounds, those prosocial activities can equip students with transferable skills for the demands of the working world, such as interpersonal and leadership skills. Also, that students include their volunteer experience in their curriculum vitae might be a striking point compared to their cohorts. That is the very reason why volunteering-related activities give students vital skills in readiness for later life.

On the flip side, that these volunteering programs are mandated would defeat the purpose of volunteering. That is to say, the mentioned merits might counteract students' effort to contribute if they are not willing to participate in voluntary activities. Take ignorance as an example. If a teen is ignorant of volunteering benefits, he will likely do as the minimum required and volunteer only to fulfil this mandatory assignment. What is worse, when it comes to finding the balance between schoolwork and community work, students may encounter acute and in the long term encounter chronic stress. This could turn a voluntary activity into a grievous burden, causing a corrosive effect on the volunteer's prosocial values.

In brief, volunteering is a rewarding extracurricular activity that students can do for the community of their own free will. Therefore, it is suggested that they should not be coerced to engage in the activity.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Aug 20, 2021   #2
The writer has changed the original topic reference from "people" to schools. While the opinion response is correct, the thesis statement changed the discussion slant, leading to an unrelated task response. Why is the thesis statement incorrect? The response only asks for qualified reasons to agree or disagree, depending on the writer's chosen opinion. It does not ask the writer to indicate parameters for the volunteer participation. So the opinion essay no longer adheres to the agree or disagree requirements.

Since there is an unrelated discussion presented, that portion will not be given a scoring consideration. While the essay still meets the word count, the presentation is now seen as lacking in fully developed discussion points. The writer might fail to get a passing score overall. The unrelated paragraph will work better in an extent essay presentation.
OP lyvlyv 1 / 1  
Aug 21, 2021   #3
@Holt Thank you so much for your comment. I will try to improve the mistake in another essay!


Home / Writing Feedback / Students' mandatory volunteering in their free time to serve the communities
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳