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Subject: Factors contributing to JOB SATISFACTION/ How realistic they are?


vickieZ 1 / 1  
Apr 14, 2013   #1
Hey,it's Vickie.I'm preparing for the IELTS and I will be very grateful if you can check my essay and revise it. Many thanks!

Subject: What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

In modern society, most adults have full-time or several part-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent at work is very high. In this respect, feelings deriving from one's career must affect his or her own life as a whole, or to be specific,wellbeing. In my considered opinion,there are at least two main factors that contribute to one's satisfaction.

First of all, the fulfillment gained from work itself enhances job satisfaction to a large extent,especially those that come from one's conquering of great challenges. It is not hard to recall how ecstatic and fulfilled we felt when we solved a tricky puzzle independently or through joint efforts with peers back in high school. So the sense of satisfaction derived from fulfilling an assignment allocated to us is magnified accordingly.

Second, positve feedback and rewards from superiors also can hugely elevate job satisfaction.

Because it is a sign of recognition of one's devotion to a working community and can really inspire he or she to work harder,learn more and reach higher and moreover, greatly increasing the sense of belonging which is rare to find in corporate world.

Due to hard economic realities, not everyone at work can get job satisfaction despite its importance. As a matter of fact, only a small portion of people who are working in companies where their work can really be valued and valuable are capable of gaining job satisfaction,whereas the majority have to confront reality under harsh economic conditions, doing a job which may not play to their talents,or even worse,one which is repetitive and boring.

In conclusion, sense of fulfillment as well as positive feedback and rewards from superiors contributes to job satisfaction. In real corporate world, however,it's unlikely for everyone to get job satisfaction,only a lucky few end up doing a job with great contentment.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 15, 2013   #2
As far as I'm concerned, job satisfaction plays a significant role in individual wellbeing in modern society, for the fact that the proportion of lives people spend at work is very high and therefore feelings about one's work must affect his or her quality of life, or to be specific, wellbeing.

Your introduction para consists of just one long sentence. When the sentence is too long it reduces its effect, lessens clarity and disturbs the flow. Also, in the introduction you are expected to introduce the topic to the reader first. Don't answer the prompt direct, but give it a more essay sort of presentation. My suggestion;

Job satisfaction is an important aspect of one's career because without deriving any job satisfaction. a person would not be motivated to continue his profession or career.In particular, modern people need to spend more time for their career due to competitiveness and if they do not enjoy their job that would make them frustrated. There are three main factors that contribute to job satisfaction;
OP vickieZ 1 / 1  
Apr 16, 2013   #3
It's very helpful. Many thanks.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 16, 2013   #4
Ok.... then about body paragraphs; You should give reasons in your body paras and support them with specific examples. My suggestion is to limit one reason to one body para and limit the number of body paras to 2. That's the best way to manage time for this task.

In my opinion, there are three main factors that contribute to employees' job satisfaction.

.... This is found in your first body para, but it should have been moved to the previous introduction paragraph. In the intro, you introduce your topic theme and then state your opinion.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 17, 2013   #5
In modern society, most adults have full-time or several part-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent at work is very high.

... Wish you presented this in a more simpler manner;
In modern society, people spend more time at work by doing either full-time or several part-time jobs.

In this respect,feelings deriving from one's career must affect his or her own life as a whole, or to be specific,wellbeing.

... I'd advise you not to have more complicated phrases. That strains the interest of your reader. :( ... Write with simple, appropriate words :)

In my considered opinion,there are at least two main factors that contribute to one's satisfaction.

... it better reads if you just say " In my opinion"


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