Summary TED (v) Jill Heinert Underwater explorer

Become an astronaut is Jill dream while an underwater explorer is her passion today's, especially a cave diver. Jill Heinert, a TED speaker, was tried to explore about the wonders of Mother Earth in the past. For her, cave diving is the most dangerous attempt in the world. Swimming in blackness, silent environment and without clues to exit makes her occupation more risky. But every ways she does to explore new environment under the ocean. Firstly, she told that our Earth in not a solid but more likes a sponge with many tiny holes. Diving inside the Antarctica makes her become the first person who ever explore the inside cave of iceberg. Secondly, her purpose are discovers ice ecology and investigate for life-forms beneath the ice. As an exploration result, she found a species that no one ever existed before with unique features such as no pigment, no eyes and tremendously live longer since dinosaur's age. Furthermore, she with biologist and physicists also take a sample for rocks in the caves, slice them and look at the layers in the rocks. In addition, her team found that they can estimate about the climate changes in our planet at very different times.

Dioba, if you will just omit the first sentence in your summary, you will find that the summary essay makes much more sense. It accomplishes the task of delivering only the necessary information in a better manner than if the first sentence was still included. I am happy to tell you that your essay is really informative and I understood exactly what you are trying to say, even though the grammar accuracy range is only mid range. The rough language and sometimes misplaced words were not exactly troublesome as I was still able to narrow down exactly what you were trying to say. One thing though, it seems you forgot to note the name of the species that she discovered while exploring. I am sure that information was relayed in the video. You just weren't quick enough to note it this time around. That is the only part of the essay where you may have failed in task accuracy. Not to worry though, your overall work on the essay proves that you at least, have enough English comprehension and writing skills to get your thoughts and explanations across in an understandable manner to the reader.

hi dioba, these are my thought towards your essay

...Jill Heinert, a TED speaker, was tried to explore about the wonders of Mother Earth in the past...
[ it would be better if you explain what Mother Earth is ]

...Swimming in blacknessdarkness , silent environment and withoutno clues to exit ...
But every wayswayshedoeshad done by her to explore new environment ...
...Secondly, her purpose are to discovers ice ecology and investigate ...

i think your predominant problem are coherence and cohesion, in some sentence it looks like they are not connected to each other. secondly, your have grammar and passive or active voice issue

thank you

Jill Heinert, a TED speaker, was tried to explore about the wonders of Mother Earth(what the meaning of mother earth?) in the past.( it is better to put this introduction in the first sentence of paragraph)

Become an astronaut is Jill dream while...Jil dreams of becoming an astronaut. As a matter of fact, she is passionate about underwater explorer, specially a cave diver.

For herSubsequently , cave diving (...) in the world such asswimming in blackness, silent environment and without clues to exit makes her occupation[00FF] become more risky. But(using but is not appropriate in the beginning of sentence) every ways way

As an exploration result,As a result, she found a novel s pecies that no one ever ...
Furthermore, she was with biologist and physicists ...