(Summary TED) A temporary tattoo that brings hospital care to the home

Todd Coleman as Bioelectronics innovator and TED' speaker who explain about new technology which has many advantages. It just like temporary tatoo but flexible electronic health monitoring patient in everyhere. It can monitoring, human temprature, hearth rate. It can help doctor to monitoring and give suggestion to patient. This is revolutionary health care and make medicine less invasive.

Source : TED

hello alfinkurnia
this is my suggestion for you
i think you should try to write logger than now

Todd Coleman as Bio- electronics innovator and TED' ...
It just like temporary tatt oo but flexible (...) patient in everyw here. It can monitoring, human teme prature, hearth rate. It can help doctor to monitoring[to infinitive should followed by verb 1 and give suggestion to patient.

Hi alfin, here is my suggestions

- First of all, you have to create at least 80 words to maximise your summary
- you have to explain the general invention so that people can understand your summary without watching it
- it can monitoring, (seems like your explanation did not clear enough)
- be careful on spelling, please read before you uploaded it

It just like temporary tatootattoo but flexible electronic health monitoring patient in everyhereeverywhere

It can monitoring, human temprature temperature, hearthheart rate.

It can help doctor to monitoringmonitor and give suggestion to patient.
to+ V1

This is revolutionary health care, and makemakes medicine less invasive.

Alfin, there are so many problems with your summary that I do not really know where to begin. I guess I have to start at the most obvious place, the length of the essay. As you very well know, your summary should be at least 2 paragraphs long. In this instance, you barely created one paragraph. Therefore, your essay does not pass the length requirements of the test section.

Then we come to the content of the essay itself. I have absolutely no idea of what you are trying to say. Let me put it this way, in terms of cohesiveness and coherence, it would score a 1. There is absolutely no point in the information or discussion you are presenting. There is no point to your discussion. I cannot find a beginning, middle or end to your statements.

You should have mentioned more about the technology and the way it works. What is the technology called? Where was it presented? Why is it important? These are but a few of the all too important data that the summary should have contained in order to be deemed an accurate summary of the article. I assume it was an article because you even forgot to provide the link to the TED talk that you are talking about.

this sentence can be divided two sentence alfin, first you can use simple present to mention speaker occupation, because fact so you can use simple present. ( Todd Coleman is a Bioelectronic innovator bla bla bla...


to make compound sentences you need 2 independent sentences each sentence has VERB.


CHECK AGAIN AND RIVISE ALFIN

GOOD JOB.