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Summary for TED "A warm embrace that saver live" (Jane Chen)


Ifan21 22 / 24 2  
Sep 13, 2016   #1
Twenty millions of babies are suffering premature, intolerant temperature and lack of fat, which make them very tiny as a hand hold. The baby can't constantly regulate temperature to the normal . There are several critical diseases can be suffered namely diabetes, heart problem, low intelligence and even die. Twenty percent from total premature babies had passed away, one of them is Rani the, the daughter of Indian woman Sabita. Currently, the only way to protect premature baby is incubators and are not accessible for rural area such as developmental country. In 2010, Jane and her team had technologically advanced a suitable, sterile, exactly cheap (less than $ 20) than common incubator used for protect premature baby. it seems like simple small sleeping bag. The sleeping bag has sophisticating material like a wax-like substances simply using hot mater and then the melting temperature will be constantly stabled to 37 degree Celsius. The main purpose why they manufactured it was to keep the temperature of baby 37 degree Celsius without electrical obstacles since it doesn't need electric as well. Thus it'll care for baby and in advance the mortality will be rapidly decreased.

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 13, 2016   #2
Twenty millions of babies are suffering as premature [or just directly write, ..... are premature], intolerant temperature ...
The baby can't [avoid to write like this, you need to write 'cannot' indeed ] constantly regulate the ...
There are several critical diseases that [need a conjunction to put two finite verbs in a sentence ] can be make them (...) low intelligence and even die . [die is disease? ]

... premature baby is incubators and but those are not accessible for in rural area such as developmentalin developing country. In 2010, Jane and her team hadhave technologically advanced (...) exactly cheap (less than $ 20) incubator than common incubato r one used for ...

... it seemslooks like simple small sleeping bag. The sleeping bagithas sophisticatingmade by sophisticated material like a wax-like substances [singular/plural issue ] simply using hot mater and then the melting temperature will be constantly stabled to 37 degree Celsius.

*you still need to concern on your sentence structure, use of article, singular/plural issue, use of pronoun, and how to reduce repetitive using of certain word


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