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TASK1-The table below compares the average number of vehicles using three roads.


mersad 8 / 14 6  
May 28, 2016   #1
topic: The table below compares the average number of vehicles using three roads.

The table gives figures regarding how many automobiles averagely passed through three roads from 1993 to 2002.

Over the period, the auto flow rate per hour had increased for all three paths. In average, the Long Lane was the most popular way while there was a least tendency for Harper Lane to be used.

In 1998, Harper Lane were used by merely 82 vehicles per hour, the least number of the whole table, hitting the high number of 910 in 1998, before witnessing a sharp plunge to 193, with some fluctuation, at the end of the period. Long Lane which was second popular road in 1993 by 400, in spite of some fluctuations between 1996 and 1998, rose dramatically by 1000 before becoming stabilized at peak of 1400 over the last two years.

Great York Way , ranked as the first during the primary years, saw a moderate upward trend, initiating from 600 and plateauing at 900 during the last two years, while it had hovered around that of stability years since 1999. This road was surpassed by both Long Lane and Harper Lane in 1998; thereafter, the former continued its rise to reach the peak, whereas the latter plummeted abruptly to stay again as the least popular road.


  • TASK1

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
May 28, 2016   #2
Mersad, this essay 'flow of ideas' was okay, the information that you delivered was understandable. The introduction paragraph was also adequately covered the main trend. This is a good start for a TASK 1 IELTS writing. Moreover, I think that it is commonly suggested that introduction and overview is inseparable if the position is in the beginning of the essay. If you put overview or conclusion in the last part, it is okay to separate those sentences.

Suggestion:
The table .......................................................... a least tendency for Harper Lane to be used. (in 1 paragraph)


However, concerning body paragraphs. It only consists of 2 sentences for each paragraph. You need to make at least three sentences for each in order to be considered acceptable by the examiner. Thus, some sentences need to be revised. You have accidentally created some complex-but-inaccurate-sentences. Remember the criteria for band 5 in grammatical range and accuracy, which you need to avoid: 'attempt complex sentence(s), but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentence(s)'. In addition, the same issue happened to the last paragraph, and therefore you need to revise it.


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