Task 1: The table gives information about five types of vehicles registered in Australia in...

the statistics about australian vehicles

The table shows the numbers of five different catagories of vehicles which was registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.

Overall, it is clear that the figure for registered passenger vehicles was the highest in all three years, but in term of growth rate, motocycles witnessed the most dramatic propotion. In addition, all five kinds of means of transport had the percentage change increased over the period.

Starting with passenger vehicles, this kind of transport had the figure at 11, 800,000, then rose by 10.2% to reach 13,000,000 in 2014. In contrast, commercial vehicles whose figure was significantly lower had the number was only 2,300,000 in 2010. Howerver, the growth rate of this form of vehicle was 7.4% higher than that of passenger ones.

The most drastic change was motorcycles, which has figure in 2010 at 540,000 to 709,000 in 2014, an increase of 30.8%. The other catagories also show an upward trend, with the rates were 8.3% and 23.5% for heavy trucks and light trucks respectively.

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Try to present a more concise presentation for this report. The Task 1 essay is normally represented in only 3 paragraphs. The Task 2 essay is what normally calls for 4 paragraphs because that essay requires an opinion anaylsis for the presentation. The task 1 essay is merely a reporting essay that does not require much analysis. The information is also presented in only 3 parts, thus making the 3 paragraph analytical report the more time efficient and concise presentation.

As you can see in the above chart, there are 3 groups presented based on the years of comparison (2010, 2012, 2014). That means, these are the 3 main presentation points, with all other information mixed into the paragraph data report. It is because of the 4 paragraph format that you miss out on presenting the better scoring essay. You are more focused on run-on sentence presentations within the 4 paragraph format. That means, you are making more GRA errors accidentally. In fact, your essay has 5 spelling errors that you missed out on correcting, thus lowering your LR score as well. If you had focused on the scoring considerations instead of creating a 4 paragraph presentation when 3 paragraphs were more than sufficient, then you would have had enough time to edit, spot, and correct any and all the errors in your presentation.

@Holt
Thank you for your detailed advice