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IELTS-task1-the table below gives information related to population growth...



tiyuok 4 / 16  
Dec 12, 2013   #1
Here is my writing in IELTS, finally I got 5.5. Is there anybody help me to correct it and tell me why my score is so low? Feel free to give me your suggestions! I will be appreciated very much!

The table below gives information related to population growth, average birth per woman, life expectancy at birth in countries with different income levels in 2000 and 2004

Given in the table describes how the population growth, average birth each woman, life expectancy at birth changed from the period of 2000 and 2004 in countries of three different levels, that is, high level, middle level and low level.

According to the population growth, there were a slight drop happened in the high income countries and low income countries in the year of 2002 and 2004, with from 0.8% to 0.7% and 2.0% to 1.8 respectively, while the middle class countries stay at the same level, at 0.9%.

Moving on to the average birth each woman, the period from 2002 to 2004 saw a gradual decrease in the middle income countries and low income countries, which is 2.2 to 2.1 and 3.9 to 3.7 respectively. The high income countries was stable at 1.7 in the year of 2002 and 2004.

Regarding to the life expectancy at birth, there was a small rise happened among all the countries, with an increase at 0.7 to 0.8.


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MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Dec 13, 2013   #2
Given in the table

of three different levels, that is, high level, middle level and low level

with three levels of income.

there werewas a slight drop happened

with from

stay

stayed
greenleaf 4 / 20  
Dec 13, 2013   #3
It is important that you should make some comparisons between the figures. For example:
It is evident from the data supplied that population growth was contrary to life expectancy among the countries mentioned. Specifically, low income countries had the highest population growth, but their life expectancy was the lowest of all. Likewise, the longest-lived people were those who lived in high income countries, which had the smallest rate of population growth.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Dec 13, 2013   #4
Given in the table describes how the population growth

The given table illustrates how the population growth ....
Follow this structure for this task;
1. Introduction - what you've done is good
2. Overview - Tell the major trends very briefly - do not have statistics here.
3. Details - Explain trend in more detail with statistics.
gavin 2 / 4  
Dec 13, 2013   #5
You should make some comparisons between the figures.
OP tiyuok 4 / 16  
Dec 13, 2013   #6
Thank you for your suggestion!
OP tiyuok 4 / 16  
Dec 13, 2013   #7
. Overview - Tell the major trends very briefly - do not have statistics here.

So, I should just point out the maximum and minimum value, the trend in this paragraph?


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