IELTS Task 2 Talent show : Best way to find Talented People Or Just Entertainment?

Question :Televised talent show have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Many people enjoy to watch talent shows and that is the reason why it becomes more popular right now. Some of them think that this is a good method to find people with natural ability while others think that it is only to entertain viewers. In my point of view, talent shows can entertain many communities but actually that is the best way to look for talented people.

People in entertainment production find talented people by running a talent show. Many famous celebrities come from a talent program like one direction, little mix and others. They were a winner from X-factors in United Kingdom and now they are extremely famous in a worldwide.Talent show also give many artists a chance to prove their ability in the world scale. It is not an easy thing to be a successful person. People need to work hard and have great ability to compete in entertainment industry. With talent program people can show their capability on the right way.

On the other hand, many people think that talent show is only entertainment show to get much profit. They also think it is only a make up stories then company will exaggerate the background stories of the artist to drive viewers attention. By this way, company will get much money from selling tickets at the concert also get high ratting.

In conclusion, talent shows are used by many companies to get much income. However, it is a great chance to show off the ability of talented people and a reasonable way to discover people who has a gift.

hiii farida i love your essay, by the way here some suggestion to strengthen your essay.
Many( you can use uncommon word to describe many such as a wide range of or a plenty of) people enjoy to watch (...) reason why it becomes more popular ( you paraphrase this word with renowned or august) right now.

Many famous celebrities come came from a talent program ...

thank you

Hi Faridadwi18 :)

That is a good writing, but I have some suggestions for you ...

... reason why it becomes more popular right now these days.
( or you can find another words to replace "right now")

Many famous celebrities come from a talent program like one direction, little mix and others.
You can add a conjunction between "talent program" and "like", as though you give some examples of the talent program, but you want to explain the celebrities. It should be : Many famous celebrities come from a talent program, they arelike one direction, little mix and others.

Be careful with the repetition, such as : many

Many people enjoy to watch talent shows ...
Many famous celebrities come from a ...
.....many people think that talent show ...
.....talent shows are used by many companies to get much income.

You can replace it, with several/numerous/myriad/a large number of, and others.

I hope it will be helpful

Many people enjoyto watching talent shows and that is the reason why it has becomes more popular right now.
... talent shows can entertain many communities[use the appropriate word to paraphrase 'people' based on the meaning you want to deliver] but actually thatit is the best way to look for talented people.

i find that your introductory paragraph is clear while it really answered the essay question. good job. However, it is better to switch the position of your first and second body paragraph. to compose it as a strong argumentative paragraph, the paragraph where you explain that talent show is more likely as a right way to hire talented people should be stand out as an objection of idea that it is only for entertainment, so it should be the third paragraph.

... come from a talent program like one direction, little mix[concern about capitalization issue] and others. They were athe winner from X-factors (...) famous in a worldwide scale .Talent show[need to use another phrase to boost your lexical resource] also give many artists a ...

People need to work hard and have A great ability to ...
Withby/from talent program [need comma] people can show ...

... people think that talent show is only entertainmentshow to get much profit [vary your writing style to avoid repetition. you can write : talent show is only for entertainment for instance] . They also think it is onlya make up stories[singular/plural issue]thenwhile company will exaggerate the ...

... from selling tickets at the concert while it also get high rat ting.

... used by many companies to get much income[for entertainment] .