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IELTS writing task 2, televised talent shows is good method for finding talented people?


hieuvo218 1 / -  
Oct 14, 2021   #1

future stars among participants in the televised talent shows



Finding talented people is very important for society. Thus, many televised talent shows have become widely popular in many communities this day. I think that this is a good method to find people who is talented but it's at all.

Initially, my country has many shows like Vietnam got talent, Road to Olympia, ... In given shows, candidates will be asked many questions or show their abilities that make people amazed. These shows help to find people who is talented base on their knowledge or abilities. Some student got scholarship for transformation, some people have become popular. The talent that these shows found are useful for live, for society and for development of human.

However, beside many good shows are many bad shows. They are all entertainment not more. Candidates who participate in show for viewer useless abilities, make them laugh and win the prize. I find that these shows are a way for many entertainment studios pr them or make financial. We can call many abilities showed by candidates are talent, but with me, talent must help people and can be developed.

Besides, we have other ways to find talented people. Likewise organizing a competition or give scholarship for students who do well in education.
Inclusion, I think that televised talent shows are good methods to find people who is talented, they help society find talented people but in a different way, people do it for earning money.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,700 3784  
2 days ago   #2
I think

Use a more convincing phrase. something that reflects a clear opinion on your part. This sentence is confusing because at the end you said:

but it's at all.

Did you mean to say that you are certain about your opinion? Or, not? The task score is reliant on the way that you deliver your opinion with a sense of belief and proper support for your supported opinion. The lack of opinion clarity is what creates a problem in your prompt restatement + opinion presentation.

, ...

Why do Vietnamese students consistently insist on using a comma and ellipses simultaneously? This is the most common and irritating grammar and punctuation usage error of these students collectively. It is also the most common GRA scoredown cause that examiners apply. You are all being taught improper punctuation usage in the English language by your schools. Use one punctuation mark at a time. That is the unbreakable English punctuation rule. One at atime, never successively. The sentence loses all logic in terms of idea presentation, emotions, and thought clarity. The reader never knows what a Vietnamese student is trying to say when these successive punctuation marks are used. This is a GRA fail.

for development of human.

Human what? The thought presentation is incomplete. Learn to think and write in English, with a proper subject - verb agreement at all times.

Inclusion

Did you mean, "In conclusion"? The student has serious grammar and vocabulary problems that will definitely cause him to fail the test.


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