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TED talks: Could we cure HIV with lasers?


kobayakawa07 8 / 13  
Aug 16, 2016   #1
Could we cure HIV with lasers?
By Patience Mthunzi


Nowadays, if we suffer headache, we swallow pill of aspirin. Swallowing pill is the most effective and painless way of delivery any medication in body. However, there is big problem in HIV patient. They usually take anti-HIV drugs. While it is good for lowering virus in blood by increasing the CD4 cell counts, it gives bad effects. It can make blood to become dilute, experts usually call it "drug dilution".

Fortunately, there is latest technology that we can deliver anti-HIV directly to the HIV-infected cell by using lasers. Such a breakthrough technology has been used for dentistry. In this cutting-edge technology, we use laser pulses to drill extremely tiny holes which open and close HIV-infected cells to deliver drug. Although now it is still testing in test tubes, but the final goal is applying to human body. In the future, such a technology can lead to complete eradication of HIV in the body.

azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 16, 2016   #2
hi koba, here are some suggestion for you.

However, there is a big problem in HIV patient

Fortunately, there is a latest technology that we can deliver anti-HIV

but the final goal is to applyingit to human body.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 16, 2016   #3
Hi Mahdi.
You show the better progress in the writing skill since you reduce your mistakes of the grammar. Let me help you ti improve your writing.

Please, meet my notes and pay attention to maintaining your structure.


Nowadays, if we suffer A headache, we swallow A pill of aspirin. Swallowing THE pill is the most (...) medication in THE body. However, there is A big problem in HIV patient.

It can make blood to become dilute (SUBJECT + MAKE + NOUN + ADJECTIVE. IT DOES NOT NEED "BECOME"), WHICH experts usually call it "drug dilution".

Fortunately, there is THE latest technology (THIS IS SUPERLATIVE, DO NOT FORGET TO ADD "THE") that we can deliver anti-HIV ...
Such FOR INSTANCE, a breakthrough technology has been ...
cells to deliver THE drug. Although now it is still testing TESTED in test tubes, but the final goal is applying to THE human body. In the future, such a technology can ...

Note:
You have let through the use of the article (A/An/The). In fact, whereas it is one of the minor errors, it will give a contribution to your score. You should read your writing before you upload because there are some meanings which make readers confused. You should arrange the sentences to be better.

Actually, you will need much time to write in the first week. However, you will master that in more and more days. You struggle and tackle your problems.Trust me, you will be competence in this writing skill if you have a strong desire to practice every day.

The secret key is practicing more and more.


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