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Teachers' salaries rose, however the other workers' wage dropped. Annual spendings by a UK school



badafebriani17 34 / 41  
Nov 5, 2016   #1
These three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.

The three pie charts gives the information about the percentage of change amount of money that spent by particular school in 1981, 19991, and 2001. Overall, there was an upward trend of teachers' salaries. There was a downward trend of other employees' salaries.

Based on the pie charts, the largest number came from teachers' salaries, at 50% in 1991, it incresed dramatically by ten percent from 1981 to 1991. Besides, the second largest is other workers' salaries, at 28% in 1981, but it dropped sharply by six percent from 28% to 22%.

Not only books, but also furniture and equipment experienced an up and down trend which furniture fell sharply by ten percent in 1991 but resources such as books inclined five percent in the same year. The least number is insurance that just reaced up to eight percent which there was a slight rise by five percent in 2001. (150w)

faizunaa17 49 / 66  
Nov 5, 2016   #2
Hello Ba'da, here some suggestion for you

These three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a...

1) DON'T COPY PASTE THE QUESTION. You must PARAPHRASE it. If you don't know the synonym of the world, minimum you can CHANGE THE FORM from POSITIVE to NEGATIVE sentence

... trend of teachers' salaries. In contrast / However / Despite / Whereas There was a downward trend ...

2) USE CONJUNCTION to CONNECT YOUR IDEA.

Based on the pie charts, the largest number came ...

3) TOO FEW EXPLANATION. You can explore it to be more details. That indicators also has change and data in 2001, but you did not mention ANYONE.
Wilyaftika23 46 / 31  
Nov 6, 2016   #3
Hi bada, let me give you some comment

1. ...there was an upward trend of teachers' salaries ...
The charts show in pie shape and do figuring in graph. So you cannot use upward or downward trend because it is only about changing, nothing continues. It is better for you to tell about 'there is an increase or decrease'

2. Because one of the purposes of writing task 1 is comparing the data. It is better for you to make comparison. It will increase your score in writing task 1

Thank you
keep writing
mardian24 46 / 60  
Nov 6, 2016   #4
Hi bada

1. There are two errors spelling
incresed ----> increased
reaced ----> reached
You can check it before submit your essay.

2. ... such as books inclined to five percent ...
You can use preposition to show something than different from before

Thank you
Break a leg


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