IELTS Task 1 : Total earnings and average annual salaries in the City of London

The pie chart below shows the earning of the City of London for the years 1985 and 1995. These earnings are known as invisible earnings and they showed huge increases in the years studied. The graph shows comparisons between earnings for male and female executive in the various financial sectors for the same years.

The pie charts show the overall earnings of the City of London over decade, from 1985 to 1995 while the table reveals the average annual salaries between men and women executives in the differences financial sectors.

According to the data, the highest of total earnings is recorded in 1995 while the average annual salaries for all financial sectors that male executives show the higher rate than female in 1985 onward.

Firstly, in 1985, the sector in banking was the highest sector which earn much money, followed by insurance in the second place then commodity trading and currency deal sector. Then, the total earning in that year was just £ 3,355 than banking. Sector of banking, insurance and currency dealing were slightly decreased. In contrast, over ten years, the total earnings increased over double to £ 6,710 million.

Secondly, moving onto the table, the amount of money earned from male executive always got higher salaries than female for decade. Although, female executive had few salaries, their average salaries increased almost over triple from 1985 to 1995. Then, the average salaries rose up significantly in all of difference sectors in 1995 between male and female. Interestingly, the highest average annual salaries from currency dealing sector at £ 30,000 from male and £ 28,000 from female in 1985 and it increased highly to £ 80,000 both of them.

To sum up, the total earnings in City of London rose up dramatically for ten years and it affect to average annual salaries for various financial sectors.

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The pie charts show the overall earnings of the City of London over decade, from 1985 to 1995 while the table reveals the average annual salaries between men and women executives in the differencesdifferent financial sectors.

According to the data,Overall the highest of total earnings is recorded in 1995 while the average annual salaries for all financial sectors that male executives show the higher rate than female in 1985 onward.The male executives have earned higher salaries than female executives in all financial sectors in 1985 and this trend had continued until 1995 except for the Currency Trading sector that had recorded equal salary level for both genders.

The last sentence is just wrong. You need to describe the graph more thoroughly.

Avoid phrases like "Firstly". This task is to assess your report writing skills, so be more formal. Tell things in a more reporting tone. You need to express your observations direct, clear and in a simple reporting tone :)

You can use "Firstly, Secondly, To begin with etc." in IELTS Writing task 2, but not in this task. Other than that, I feel you've got a hang of the structure :)

Then, the total earning in that year was just £ 3,355 million.Compared in 1995, commodity trading earned much higher level than banking. Sector of banking, insurance and currency dealing were slightly decreased. In contrast, over ten years, the total earnings increased over double to £ 6,710 million. ..

I think I missed the sentence when I put in essay forum..


... I think I've described it.. so what do yo think?


Thanks Pahan for your advices, and I always try my best for my structure :)