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TECHNOLOGICAL TOOLS - sophisticated technology in order to prevent crimes among societies


aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Jun 7, 2015   #1
Some people believe that technological tools such as body scanners and CCTV have significantly enhanced our safety and security, while others feel that they have resulted in a loss of privacy.

Do the benefits of these items outweigh their disadvantages?


In the mean time, scientist have developed sophisticated technology in order to prevent crimes among societies. For this reason, body scanners and Close Circuit Television (CCTV) have been created by them. It can help societies safer and increase the security. Instead it affects to the quality of work due to inconvenience.

Technology equipment such as CCTV and body scanners have a pivotal role in order to prevent a crime. Since it can detect human activities. For example, in SMA Labschool Jakarta, there are a wide range of CCTV which is located in several places. When there is a thief, the camera can identify and record the events. Therefore, it can be prevented. Furthermore, body scanner can find the dangerous tools which is brought by people. Take Kuala Lumpur International Airport as an example, government put a wide range of body scanner in every gate. As such, people who want to enter the airport should be scanned by body scanner. Thus, it can make sure that there is no dangerous tools.

On the other hand, technology sometimes give dire consequences when they work, because entire activities are monitored by camera. Take Jakarta Stock Exchange office as an example. People who feel inconvenience, because all activities are recorded. When they talk a secret message to another. It is captured by CCTV, therefore their quality of work is not maximum. As a result, negative developments are available due to this advance technology.

In conclusion, it is evident that sophisticated technology such as CCTV and body scanner give positive development in order to identifying the crime, instead it affects occupants when they work in office. Where possible, people should put the machine in the right place where it is not disturb human activity.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jun 9, 2015   #2
- In the mean time,(It is very unlikely that you start your essay with "In the meantime", due to the fact that you were not really talking about anything else before that.) Scientist have developed sophisticated technology in order to prevent crimes among societies.

- For this reason, body scanners and Close Circuit Television (CCTV) have been created by them .

- Instead it affects to the quality of work due to inconvenience.

- Thus, it can make sure that there is no dangerous tools that comes out or come in of the airport .

- On the other hand, technology sometimes give dire consequences when they work, because the entire activities are monitored by camera.

- When they talk a secret message to one another.

- It is captured by CCTV, therefore their quality of work is not at maximum.

- In conclusion, it is evident that sophisticated technology such as CCTV and body scanner give positive development in order to identifyingidentify the crime...

- Where possible, people should put the machine in the right place where it is not disturb by human activity.

Asep, I made a few corrections on your essay.
Also mind the following;

- the use of linking verbs, as the verbs imply this are use in order for your sentences to make more sense

- your sentence construction is smooth

- proof read all the time

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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