Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 10


IELTS: Technology impact on people; Earth has become like a small village



Abdurasul 32 / 78  
Apr 9, 2014   #1
Topic:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development.

Answer:

Nowadays, the Earth has become like a small village. In the course of the last hundred years, the way majority of people communicate with each other has been altered significantly because of technology. But there are vast amount of disputes whether it is positive or negative. From my point of view, this development was a very positive one in spite of its some drawbacks.

To begin with, nowadays, to keep in touch with loved ones in faraway places has become easy than ever. Technology revolutionized the way we communicate and in present, it is almost possible to do everything without tete-a-tete. By means of some software such as Skype, MSN, Whatsapp we can get in touch with everybody whenever we want. For example, in earlier times, people didn't leave for faraway places, because they could easily get lost. This is also one salient prove that the development of technology was a very positive.

Further, by means of some communication tools, it has become very easy to make new friends. According to statistics, 40% of people met even their life partners via Internet. In this sense, Internet is a basic tool to keep in touch with old and make new friends.

However, the other side of the coin is that, by communicating via Internet or phone, we cannot express our ideas and feelings fully, because during such conversations, some of our words can make a completely different sense. As a result, the rate of divorces is increasing day by day.

By way of conclusion, I once again restate my position that the development of technology impacted on the means of communication among people very positively by making it easier and more comfortable.

(281 words)

OP Abdurasul 32 / 78  
Apr 9, 2014   #2
I'm sorry I forgot to write it.

Prompt:
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Apr 9, 2014   #3
Nowadays, the Earthworld has become like a small village. In the course of the last hundred years, the way majority of people communicated with each other has been alteredchanged significantly becauseby the influence of technology. But there are vast amount of disputesHowever, there are many concerns whether it issuch changes have brought about positive or negative effects to society.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 78  
Apr 9, 2014   #4
Thank you Pahan. Can you give me some feedback about my paras and conclusion?
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 9, 2014   #5
To begin with, nowadays, to keep in touch with loved ones who live in farawayfar away places has become easyeasier than ever.
According to statistics, 40% of people have met even their life partners via the Internet

However, the other side of the coin is that, by communicating via Internet or phone, we cannot express our ideas and feelings fully, because during such conversations, some of our words can make a completely different sense. As a result, the rate of divorces is increasing day by day.

Well, these ideas are loosely connected. You do not convince the reader that such reason can lead to a divorce :D
bakhadeer 6 / 19  
Apr 9, 2014   #6
i agree with dumi) i dont believe that misunderstanding the written text can cause to divorce) actually you did good) i will be grateful to see your comments on my threads
OP Abdurasul 32 / 78  
Apr 9, 2014   #7
Well, these ideas are loosely connected. You do not convince the reader that such reason can lead to a divorce :D

well, can you give feedback for my conclusion?
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Apr 9, 2014   #8
5 or 4 paragraphs?
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 40 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly. Also, this is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Apr 9, 2014   #9
Thank you Pahan. Can you give me some feedback about my paras and conclusion?

Further, by means of some communication tools, it has become very easy to make new friends. According to statistics, 40% of people met even their life partners via Internet. In this sense, Internet is a basic tool to keep in touch with old and make new friends.

Well, this is not really aligned with your topic though it has some relevance to it;

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology

You should have presented the same idea with a better alignment to your prompt;
Further, the modern communication tools provide online social forums where people can meet and interact with each other without having their physical presence at all. These social forums have helped many people to find their life time partners too. For example, ??????????
OP Abdurasul 32 / 78  
Apr 10, 2014   #10
Thank you Pahan, dumi and eddies. I really appreciate your helps. I will be grateful to see your comments on my next threads!!!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Technology impact on people; Earth has become like a small village
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳