IELTS Task 2 - technology imporoves communication and transport

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages? (Technology)

In this day and age, technology is rapidly dominating in the realm of communication and transport. Some people believe there are numerous benefits of living and working anywhere they want to domicile but still keep in touch with their intimate ones. From my perspective, it can be clear that the advantages of technology are outstripping its drawbacks in terms of flexibility, and convenience.

The development of technology can be considered a threat in terms of the lack to face-to-face interaction and reducing human connection. Since the revolution of technological gadgets has taken place, people have been using smartphones, tablets, or laptops as tools to communicate with the world. Therefore, it has been demonstrated that human interaction is reduced in general, with the feeling of isolation of the young generation in particular. Consequently, the harm of isolation strikes various physical and mental illnesses. For instance, using technology to communicate leads to a sedentary lifestyle that may cause cardiovascular diseases or related symptoms like depression that are intrinsically destroying people day by day.

Despite the technological drawbacks, the benefits of using technology are transparent with regard to flexibility and convenience. For example, remote work enables employers to allot and work effectively from home despite the long distance that does not waste the fee of transport. Moreover, students can learn open courses and do research anywhere they want instead of commuting to another country to learn. Consequently, the quality of work and education are increasingly favoring these days compared to the past. Besides, for people who are living abroad, the only way to keep in touch and easily contact their family and relatives even though the extended distance is to utilize a smartphone to make calls or send messages to their loved ones. Therefore, it can be concluded that the positive aspects of using technology to improve communication and transport.

In conclusion, it can be accepted that the drawbacks of technology have taken place in some aspects such as lack of interaction but the benefits outweigh its negative sides in terms of flexibility and convenience. As the benefits of technology have been pronounced, making positive developments for humans if they use it properly.

Excellent work on the prompt restatement and writer's opinion presentation. The way that you included a short reference to your topics for discussion in the reasoning paragraphs will make for an excellent preliminary Task Accuracy score. You will be starting off your preliminary scores with acceptable passing references.

You have a tendency to use too many words in your presentation. The use of too many words often leads to unclear thought presentations. Aim to write concisely at all times. Avoid the use of filler words just so you can achieve the minimum word count. It is not the number of words that will be scored, it is the clarity of your thought. So even if you meet the word count, if you do not explain yourself well, you will get low scores in the GRA and C+C rubics.

Hi, I just a student and i can just give you feedback about ideas development, and kinds of that (?); I'm still practicing writing and haven't taken IELTS before; but you can read my feedback and consider it. Please ignore my grammatical errors.

Introduction: I think in the introduction, you shouldn't write this sentence: "In this day and age, technology is..." because it isn't relevant to the topic and doesn't give you extra score band score in task 2, but if that sentence has any errors, it will lower you band score. And you should give reasons why pros outweight cons after you confirmed it "From my perspective,..." to address your main ideas you will write soon. By the way, i think that should write ALL about advantages, while both argue the opposite idea in both 2 BPs (body paragraphs). Because you confirmed that pros outweight cons.

The second paragraph should discuss about advantages, not to show technology consequences. But you wrote about bad sides, and in 3rd paragraph, you wrote about pros. So it's more like a balance view in overall, and it is contrast to your confirmation. If you want to do so, you can say that it has both sides, instead of firmly agree.

Third paragraph: i think it's great, since i am not good at high level vocabularies and grammar structure, i won't discuss about them.

Conclusion: "it can be accepted" should be replaced with stronger position, by confirming advantages. And the last sentence, it didn't suggest your firm opinion, in contrast to your intro " it can be clear that..."

That's all, i can't give you any more evaluation about different things. However, you should keep going and improve your writing. Good luck.

If you guys have any feedbacks, please feel free. But please don't comment so harsh.
(I learn about that stuff from IELTS Advantage youtube channel)