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Teenagers know what is best for them


CARApck 1 / 1  
Jun 5, 2016   #1
It cannot be guaranteed that teenagers who have lots of confident will be good thing at all the time. It is not always accurate for them to believe what they know is the best. Sometime smallest decision could change their whole life. Teenagers often make a permanent decision based on their temporary feelings. They also like to make a decision absent thinking about the consequent that will arise after that. However, parents should give freedom to teenagers to go through their own problems.

The case of Sephy and Cullum relationship from Noughts and Crosses book by Malorie Blackman is one of an example when teenagers use their emotional side more than their rationale side. As Sephy said "I think you and I should run away together...". This has shown that Sephy rely too much on her own idea. It is normal for teenagers to think that their decisions are the best because it comes from their own idea. She thinks running away would solve all the problems, think that run away is a lot easier than face a problem. Teenagers just do things because they want to. And this is because they do not have much experience in their life.

As the word "teenagers" are represent the most joyous /joyful part in their lives. Teenagers just desire to have fun with their life. Cullum is Sephy lover. One of the way they think that they could express their love is "having sex". "I'm pregnant because we made love to each other." she made a decision to have sex but she did not think about the consequent after that which is the possibility of pregnancy. A lot of teenagers end up like Sephy, they do not use contraception to prevent pregnancy. Especially the society without supervision and they still inexperience so they could easily imitate from the movie or video clip.

According to the research in 2015, 65.6% of the teenagers who grew up with their own decision make more mistakes than the teenagers who have support from their parents helping their kid make the right decision. The best freedom parents could give to their kid is to let them be themselves while keeping an eye on them. No teenagers want to feel that they are alone when they face difficulties.

Teenagers try different ways to find an answer for the questions they have. The way they discover is not always right. However, mistake is what they learn and grow up from.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jun 5, 2016   #2
Cara, welcome to the EssayForum team! I hope you can find our feedback is fruitful towards your development in writing. You are suggested to give your thoughtful feedback to other members in this forum in order to enhance your writing skill. I believe that you will get benefits from posting and editing someone's essay in EssayForum.

With regards to your essay, I would like to focus on the first paragraph only in order to boost the readers' impression towards your essay since the introduction is really crucial. Moreover, you need to know that when you are posting an essay, make sure you tell us what kind of essay it is. Is it IELTS? is it TOEFL? or is it a scholarship essay? or whatever essay that you're up to. Thus, we can give a proper feedback to your essay. However, you can see the detailed corrections towards your introduction paragraph below:

- It cannot be guaranteed that teenagers who have lots of confident will be good thinggood in doing many activities.at all the time.(remember, teenager is not a THING)

- SometimeSsmallestsmall decision could change their whole life. (there is no point in using superlative there)
- They alsoare more likely to make a decision absent thinkingwithout thinking about the consequentconsequence(s) that will arise after thatprobably occur.
- However, parents should give freedom to teenagers to go throughsolve/handle/take care of their own problems.

As seen, you still need more works to do. I hope you mind the feedback that I've given to you. Good luck in revising this essay :)


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