IELTS Writing Task 1 - UK telephone calls, by category, 1995-2002 - local, international, mobiles

information of telephone calls in the UK

Hello, everyone. I need some help on correcting IELTS writing. I appreciate your feedback :)

The bar chart indicates the information of telephone calls in the UK from 1995-2002, categorized into three types, local fixed line, national and international fixed line, and mobiles.

Overall, the total number of minutes of local fixed line had been the highest among theses three categories while mobile had been the lowest. It is noticeable that the amount of calls by using local fixed line fell in 2000. The other two types of telephone calls had gradually increased in eight years.

Most UK people called by using local fixed line during 1995-2002. The total number of minutes was approximately 70 billion in 1995, and it reached its highest 90 billion in 1999. However, the number had dropped since 2000, and continuously decreased till about 70 billion in 2002.

On the other hand, the number of minutes of national and international fixed line and mobiles had steadily risen in eight years. The number of national and international fixed line was nearly 35 billion in 1995, and in 2002, the number was more than 60 billion. The number of minutes of telephone calls by mobile had significantly increased from about 3 billion in 1995 to nearly 45 billion in 2002, which had the greatest progress in eight years.

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You have a word choice error in the essay. There is no such term as "theses" in plural form representation. "These" is the plural form of "this". Since the graph shows a value higher than 70 billion, the proper term to use would have been "over 70 billion", not "about 70 billion". It is alright to use terms that indicate uncertainty since the bar graph does not give a perfect figure to refer to in your summary. However, you need to make sure that you use the correct reference term when indicating uncertainty in your presentation. Don't just throw in values without identifying what these values connote. Indicate "the years covering" in reference to the time frame from the report. Your report is strong and has a good word count. The only problem you must address if the word choice situation.

@Holt
thank you for your feedback!!!