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IELTS 2; Television's influence on cultures - Negative or Positive?



dheeraj93 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2013   #1
Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?

Television is one of the greatest inventions in the modern era.This, has certainly changed the personal and social lives of people be it children or adults .During the course of time the eventual purpose for which television was invented has varied a lot.This has affected people both positively and negatively.

To begin with I'd like to focus on how Television has benefited us.Today,we know everything that's happening around the world in a matter seconds which was not possible prior to the invention of the television.Not just that television has also become viable source for developing the economy of a country many job oppurtunities have been developed for instance now

there are many news channels that broadcast the news on the television.The programs that are telecasted on the tv help people to know more about how different people around the live

learn their cultures,lifestyles etc.There are many programmes which show different varieties of food cooked in different parts of the world.This,does help people to develop and widen their culture.There are educative channels such NATGEO,DISCOVERY etc which help the young viewers to grow intellectually.There are almost every kkind of channels for every kind of person be it music,sports,science,economics etc.This way televison has benefited in the cultural development of our society.

On the flipside, television has many negative affects on the society's culutre as well.For instance, there are many programmes that influence young minds in a negative way be like adult shows which depict unecessary explicit natured visuals which might actually change the person's mindset.For example to many crime shows are being telecasted these days.This,has had negative impact on the society many young people have delusional mindset thought of killing someone is cool these days is has actually become a fashion.Not just that people seem to have loosing their interest in humancontact that is meeting up people for casual gettogether's is decreased variably since the advent of television.This phenomenon is largely seen in youth who prefer spending most of their time watching tvshows and playing video games rather than any recreational activities like playing games.

In conclusion, i'd like to say that television has it's fare share of positive and negative affects on the cultural development of the society.I'd suggest its better that people learn to balance their lifestyle and learn to maintain realtionships with their fellowbeings in order to improve the culture of the society."Television has to be part a of their life but their only part of life".

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 28, 2013   #2
Hi,
I understand you are new to this forum. So I have couple of requests for you; You need to have a meaningful topic in the subject field and post your IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum. (I moved it from Undergraduate to Writing Feedback)

Television is one of the greatest inventions in the modern era.This, has certainly changed the personal and social lives of people be it children or adults .During the course of time the eventual purpose for which television was invented has varied a lot.This has affected people both positively and negatively.

Good introduction :)

Not just that television has also becomea viable source for developing the economy of a country and many job oppurtunitiesopportunities have been developedcreatedfor instance now there are many news channels that broadcast the news on the television .

.... this sentence is too long and hence your flow of ideas gets disturbed.
OP dheeraj93 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2013   #3
dumi
thank you for the suggestion.Any other suggestions realted to the grammar or the content of my essay and how much would i score for this.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 28, 2013   #4
It seems you can write well... Can you manage time well? If you have a problem with that, limit reasons to one reason per body para. Practice would help you with time management too. Do more essays and post them here :)

On the flipside, television has many negative affectseffects on the society's culutrecultureas well .[/quote]


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