Essay about the ten top rice- producing countries in 1999 Writing IELTS task1

leading rice-productive counties in 1999

The bar graph compares the data about the leading rice- productive counties in 1999.

In conclusion, China and India contributed to the total manufacture most whereas the USA produced the amount of rice roughly a twentieth as less as the figure of China in 1999.

To begin with, the two countries standing at the top position were China and India with 192,971 tons and 122,244 tons in turns. Those countries got the significant figures of rice produce compared to 46,100 tons of manufactured rice in Indonesia which were the second rice-producing country in the given top ten, Japan and Philippines produced the quantities of rice a half as less as Viet Nam and Thailand with 12,531 tons and 10,000 tons of rice respectively. Moreover, the country having the least number of rice production was the USA with 8,183 tons in the ten countries.

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Dear I have some suggestionsfor you, hope it help you.

... compares the data about regarding the leading ....
In conclusion, overall, China and India (...) most has the highest rice production compared to the rest of the given countries, whereas the USA produced the lowest amount over the year. This is the overview of your writing, so you need to write main trend in this part. one more thing need to remember that it would be better not to use any numerical data here.

thank you.

@phuonguyen479 This essay will receive an automatic failing score because you did not write the minimum of 150 words for the Task 1 essay. The minute you write less than the minimum word requirement, your essay will be automatically failed and you will not have passed the entire test. There is no partial scoring for this. Unless you write a total of 4 paragraphs with at least 3 sentences but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph, there is no way you will have enough words written for the 4 scoring considerations. That is the only way you can pass the test. I will not even bother to review the other parts of the essay that you wrote because it would be a futile exercise. I score and review the essays based on real testing conditions. As your examiner in this instance, I have no choice but to give you a failing score for writing only 143 words out of the 150 minimum word requirement.

Thank you.
if I supplement my essay may you continue correcting my other fault, please.

... rice-producing country in the given top ten.Turning to the fourth rice producer, Bangladesh made 28, 293 tons of rice more approximately 700 tons than Viet Nam (27,646 tons). In the end of the top ten rice-producing countries, Japan and Philippines produced ...