The tendency of human beings copy another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods.
To whar extend do you agree or disagree?
The popularity of areas including fashion and consumer goods evidence an instinct of human beings of imitating others. While people who oppose this seize on reasons like developed marketing techniques and mass production, I contend this is widely true regarding people's fundamental needs of being appreciated and accepted.
Some people believe that it is companies' enhanced and diverse marketing techniques, as well as huge production quantity that causes the spread of fashion trends and goods, not people's tendency of copying. They think that companies have taken advantage of the popularity of the mass media and the influence of famous individuals to convince customers to buy their products. To illustrate, smartphones, when coming to the market, are often advertised by a wide range of methods including advertisements on televisions, on social media, or through recommendations of influencers or reviewers on Youtube. Additionally, because of the mass production, many people coincidently buy similar products and this coincidently ends up like they were imitating the others.
However, I take the view that people buy the same things as others because they want to satisfy their instinct of being appreciated and accepted. The reason why this is especially visible in areas such as fashion and goods is that these two fields are the easiest ways for human beings to imitate others and to be regarded. People often form their initial impression and the foremost judgment of others based on their looks, and they often are more friendly and cooperative when encountering people that are "the same" as them. Therefore, human beings tend to wear what people around them wear. Teenagers wear jeans, hoodies, or several "weird" fashion styles mostly because their friends do the same things, and having similar fashion tastes lets them be more recognized by their peers.
In conclusion, although some people think the spread of fashion and goods is the result of effective use of the media and mass manufacture, I contend that this phenomenon represents an instinct of being a part of a tribe that is rooted in human beings. Moreover, people should be aware of the impact of this instinct when purchasing to avoid financial waste.
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4783 While people who oppose this
Where did you get this idea? It is not a part of the original prompt reference. This makes your statement inaccurate enough to recieve a significant accuracy markdown. Do not add topics to the original statement.
I contend this is widely true
Good answer. Wrong response format. Where is the measured and emotional response as required by the extent question? This is going to ensure that the essay immediately fails half the scoring requirements.
It is quite unfortunate that you misunderstood the discussion question and response format requirements. You truly have a good control of sentence structure and your discussions are logical on a simple basis. However, the misrepresented discussion angle is what prevents this from becoming a passing score essay. Better familiarity with various response formats should help you avoid the same error in the future.
