Ielts 10 test 1 Australian household energy use - charts work

the greenhouse as gas emission source

The first pie chart shows the percentage of household energy which used by the Australian and the second chart illustrates the greenhouse as emission.

Overall, no matter the use of household energy or the household greenhouse gas emission, the three energy which were heating, water heating and other appliance also account for the highest position.

It is clear that heating account for the highest percentages in the household energy use, which was 42%. Followed by water heating and other appliance. The former energy hold 30% of the energy usage while the latter hold half less than the former one. However, cooling only occupy 2% of household energy use in Australia.

Although Australian always use heating, it didn't occupy the highest proportion in the household greenhouse gas emission, it only account for 15%. Water heating hold the highest percentage in greenhouse gas emission, which is doubled of the heating. Other appliance was followed by water heating, it constituted 28% in the Australian household greenhouse gas emission.

1.You can paraphase the question at the beginning of the essay
2. ... other appliance also account for ...
I think 'also' is a bit awkward because you're not mentioning like A, and also B
3. ... energy holds 30% of ... the latter holds half of less than the former one.
Water heating holds
4. Although most Australian always use heating for household energy, it didn't occupy ... gas emission. In fact, it only accounts for 15%.